33 years old! I remember being 33 and in my first year back in college. I thought i was so old. I felt so self conscious sometimes in class. I remember anxiety attacks over paper work and student loans and grants and constantly wondering how i would ever handle all the endless details. And taking absurd classes they made me take if i wanted to graduate. I went back to take ART, drawing and painting. People would ask my major and look at me like i was an idiot when i told them. I've had depression and anxiety my entire life. Oddly enough i had a certainty and confidence about making art and i knew i was good at it so i just kept going. That was 27 years ago. All the 18 year old friends i made and all the pretty girls i thought i was too old and broke and stupid and depressed and nervous to ask out are 45 years old now! Most of my teachers are retired and many have passed away. These years have flown by in the blink of an eye. I'm not sure this is any help at all. Probably i'm just another annoying irritation. I was there where you are now. I tried everything to lesson the noise, depression and thoughts of wanting to quit. I thought about killing myself often because it seemed the only way to stop the shit in my head. I loved painting and 3/4ths of my school time was spent doing other bullshit and worrying about how i would ever get any of it done. Oh and i tried to help others too. Yes i did that and still do. But it also made me sicker and more screwed up. I have no idea how to explain that in a comment here. Maybe the one thing that i could say is, do the thing. The one thing, that you KNOW you want and are good at and can do. I painted. What is it for you?

Yes there are thousands of things.

Are they even yours? What is it you truly want to do. You know without having to think about. Choose that and you might feel a huge relief. I did but i had to keep choosing it everyday. Every 10 minutes. I would forget and then remember. I would get lost in other peoples points of view, their wants, wish's and desires. That will kill people like me. Being here on steemit ruins me on a daily basis. The judgement, rejection, being completely ignored. But that's another story.

Creative people who suffer depression, anxiety etc. will NEVER be understood or accepted by at least half the population. They don't get it and never will. How do i know this? I'm 60 years old and have been dealing with it for that long. I can tell you it will pass and it will. will it be cured? lol maybe maybe not. Keep going, there's plenty of fun things too