It sounds like you need to pause for a moment, let all guilt and all the things you think you need to do go for a moment and relax. Then assess from a more distant perspective.

When we feel out of control, like you must have watching your father die and not being able to do anything to save him, we can subconsciously try to get control back in other ways. We can end up taking on more and more, trying to do more and more to try and make that difference, to make a change. When things don't seem to be making any impact, we think maybe we just need to try harder, so we add more pressure onto ourselves. We might see others making what we feel are bigger differences, so work harder again to keep up. The truth is, that we can't change everything, we aren't superhuman, but we don't always see that those little things we've done have a bigger impact than we might realise.

Relinquish everything for a moment, a day a week, more if you need. Then assess what is the most important thing for you, first and foremost. Everything else can wait. You can't help anyone else if you don't take care of yourself first. If your education is important, focus on that and finding a way to get yourself through to the end of next year.

I guarantee that you will never be able to save the world, your country, Steemit or much else that isn't entirety within your control. You can save yourself though and in doing so you can enrich the lives of those around you. That is not only enough, it's a gift for those you touch.

As for finding minnows to feed, you're right to say you will no longer look for them. There really aren't that many, at least at this time, who fit the criteria. If they have the determination to build on here, then they will come to you or be guided to you. If you search too hard you'll end up pushing some that may not be able to commit long term to steemit anyway. You've made a huge impact on those you've already pushed and you've touched all those who've helped to push. I, for one, have started looking at more ways that I can support other redfish here. I'd like to think we're ask adding to the snowball.

Posted using Partiko Android