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RE: Ulog: No Yelling, No Spanking
I am so happy to hear that it is working.
One thing that scared me while I was still a yeller, was that they would lose the sensitivity to the screams. Sometimes, if a kid is in danger (running too close to the street, running too far at the park, about to bump into something etc) yelling will catch their attention, but, if they are always yelled at, then your caution screams just blend into the background.
I appreciate your perspective, and would like to learn more about what you do instead of yelling.
I tend to remove stressors constantly to keep things nice and calm, however with three kids sharing a living space, consciousness has to trump environment.
I only have one kid, so I think it would be harder with three. There's a whole load of other dynamics in that -- I don't envy you haha.
We rarely shout, and in contrast to losing the sensitivity, my son perks up if I shout. Our house is generally quiet and my wife and I are peaceful and happy.
I don't do much really. I think the whole difference is that attitude I have on life. I'm rarely stressed, and try and look at everything from a well meaning perspective, and never get stuck in a negative cycle -- that transcends onto my son I think!
Quiet happy family that rarely fights with each other = quiet and happy kids. It's not about what we say, it's about how we act in front of him I think. Since my kid is a boy, it really matters how I behave.
But that's just us - outside our sphere, I have no idea lol