The Fountain Of A Thousand Stories - La fontana dalle mille storie [ENG-ITA freewrite]

in #story-300words7 years ago (edited)

This time I tried to kill two birds with one stone so here's my crossover creature: a freewrite that's also a story in under 300 words (294 in English, 256 in Italian).

Both thanks to @mariannewest and @swissclive for their great initiatives.. Steemit needs more people like you to flourish its huge potential!

https://steemit.com/story-300words/@swissclive/short-story-initiative-a-story-in-under-300-words

https://steemit.com/freewrite/@mariannewest/day-75-5-minute-freewrite-prompt-dog-hair

But let's cut to the chase.. here's my short English/Italian story!


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original by @f3nix

English Version

Countless eons passed before the endless and once empty paths of the Labyrinth started to be populated by a fascinating civilization: Stheemia.
In Stheemia, the only currency of exchange were stories. Simple tales for some bread, magnificent novels for a home.

The young Wonnim was as skilled at telling stories as ambitious. One day an old beggar, to whom Wonnim had saved his life, confided to him the secret of the Fountain of a Thousand Stories.
This mystical source rose at the centre of the Labyrinth, surrounded by the Garden of Whispers and many other jets of crystalline water. Anyone who was able to drink from it would have had the gift of telling the most amazing stories with incomparable mastery.
Unfortunately, the closer you got to the source the more the adventurer would lose words and imagination.

Wonnim did not think twice and prepared his bundle, excited for the quest.

At first, thanks to his skills, it was not difficult for the crafty young man to find clues on the way forward.
Later on, as he approached, Wonnim began to progressively lose the ability to narrate, now a word, now a plot.
Not much time passed before he could not even buy the hair of a dog as incapable as he was to even make a funny joke.

Despite everything, thin and hungry, he arrived at the gardens. Joyous water games welcomed him as he crossed the threshold of that heavenly place where, at the centre, it was said there was the legendary fountain.

In that moment, Wonnim's poor mind completely abandoned him.

And so it was that, without remembering the reason that had led him to that enchanting place, the ambitious man kept wandering for those gardens, stammering confusedly along with others before him.

Versione Italiana

Innumerevoli eoni passarono prima che gli infiniti percorsi del labirinto brulicassero di quella affascinante civiltà: Stheemia.

A Stheemia la moneta di scambio erano le storie. Storie semplici per un po' di pane, interi romanzi per un casa.

Il giovane Wonnim era tanto abile a raccontar storie quanto ambizioso. Un giorno un vecchio mendicante, a cui Wonnim aveva salvato la vita, gli confidò il segreto della Fontana delle mille storie.
Al centro del labirinto esisteva una mistica fonte, incastonata nel Giardino dei Bisbigli e circondata da mille altri getti d'acqua cristallina. Chiunque fosse riuscito ad abbeverarsi avrebbe avuto in dono la capacità di raccontare le più incredibili storie.
Sfortunatamente, più ci si avvicinava alla fonte più l'avventuriero avrebbe perso parole ed immaginazione.

Wonnim non esitò e, preparando un essenziale bagaglio, partì alla ricerca.

All'inizio, grazie alla sua abilità, non fu difficile per lo scaltro giovane trovare indizi sulla strada da seguire.
Poi, mentre si avvicinava, Wonnim inizio a perdere sempre di più la capacità di raccontare, ora una parola, ora una trama.
Ormai, non si sarebbe nemmeno potuto comprare il pelo di un cane da tanto era diventato incapace di raccontare.

Giunse al Giardino, magro ed affamato. Gioiosi giochi d'acqua gli diedero il benvenuto mentre varcava la soglia di quel posto paradisiaco ove, al centro, si diceva vi fosse la leggendaria fontana.

E fu lì che la mente di Wonnim lo abbandonò del tutto.

L'ambizioso giovane, ormai dimentico del motivo per cui si trovava in quel posto, restò a vagare assieme a molti altri per quei giardini, bisbigliando frasi sconnesse.

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This story has a very nice even flow, sort of like a narration at the end of a much longer trail of events. For me, it was kind of like the song/ballad at the end of an American Western movie as the main character rides off slowly into the sunset. 🤠 😎 👍

Interesting comment.. i would have never thought of it like this Deacon. It just confirms that what you write lives in the eyes of the reader.

Scrivere un racconto in meno di trecento parole è una bella scommessa...
Secondo me l'hai vinta. Bravo. Bella storia!

Grazie Marco! Ci si prova.. sicuramente essere verbosi é più facile che trovare la sintesi senza perdere in efficacia (qui ho tagliato molto).. Il tuo passaggio sul mio blog mi ha fatto molto piacere.

Questa è davvero una bella storia in meno di 300 parole, peccato che io abbia completamente mancato questa iniziativa, che spero si ripeterà. Altrimenti, amen...continuerò a fare solo i freewrite, ma ho bisogno di raggiungere la Fontana delle mille storie ;)

Grazie Marco! Veramente non l'hai mancata avresti tempo fino all'otto gennaio.. Ho dovuto tagliare tanto visto il limite di parole..mi fa piacere che sia rimasta piacevole da leggere.

Ho visto, infatti anche io l'ho fatta doppia...ma non ho dovuto tagliare niente, perché il flusso dei pensieri mi ha portato a un semplice e breve testo sui miei cani...mi manca la Lilly, sono diventato un vecchio piagnucolone

This was a great story! I loved how you related the tale of an epic quest back to the Steem platform. Keep on writing!

This is a very clever comment, thank you! In fact - if only I could use more than 300 words - I would have developed the symbolic and allegorical meaning. The maze is also our psyche.

I think this story has a great concept and you should consider extending it to a full series! I think you would get some readers

This is another good idea..as a matter of fact im planning a long novel in episodes..let me check your last articles 😉

A second episode published just now :-) I'd love your opinion.. Here

I love the idea of a whole system run on story telling! :) as usual, I love your sentence structure :)

Thank you @felt.buzz your comments are always very much appreciated! If I had more time and patience to develop it, I would give this story a more symbolic - allegorical meaning..

I also liked the tone. to me it reads like a fairy tale, one to tell the youngsters around a campfire. A piece like this, that sets a definite tone, can also be used as a prologue for the rest of the world. I wondered if they happened to wander back the way they came, their normal memory would come back?
Anyway, very nice.

Thank you Dennis, I wanted to try a different style ..suitable with the words limit. But let me go and check what you wrote in your blog..

glad that you got such a nice vote! Someday, we can dish them out too :)

Soon we'll be a clan of crazy dolphins exchanging each other joyful massive votes and helping minnows 😉

You write so beautifully and I'm NOT just being nice. You make me want to learn Italian so I can read it in the way it was originally written but I need to learn Spanish first so someday I can talk to my Grandchildren whenever they decided to be born. loll

This story to me is a lesson on being careful what you wish for........as the end is not always what you think it will be.

Bravo!

Thank you for your meaningful comment @snook ! This story talks about the labyrinth of our ego. I would have done It longer but I had to remain within a words limit..from Spanish to Italian is a very close step ;-) However the story wouldn't sound nicer, actually sometimes im starting to prefer the English language.. thanks again and take care always ☺️

your sucking all the American romantic dreamings a young girl thinks from watching way too many old movies by saying it would sound better in English LOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL

I hope you and Mrs. 3D F3nix are still enjoying your Holiday!!! :D

Very tired today from writing comments that were more then "I LOVE this!" I'm going to have to make a post for people to reference so I can go back to my normal comments LOLLL

Your last part of the comment is interesting... sometimes i find myself in the same situation. Although is nice and fair to encourage people, I think sometimes comes the moment to cool down a bit. Not because we are heartless but because then, when you say "i love it" It gets a true and authentic meaning and you don't male It sound ordinary... talking to myself mainly 😉 Mrs F3nix went back 2d till february... Uff...tough day. But thanks for asking my friend! I still need to spot where you blogged my avatar in the home...lazy me!

Thank you for the story. Have you been drinking from the magic steemit fountain of blogs? Seems you may have got there without forgetting why you went.

Voted

Maybe I am the crafty young Minnow/Wonnim. It's not written how much time he remained wondering in those gardens but, this, is another story. Your vote is a great encouragement for me, I will follow you and I hope that you will enjoy again my work.

Bella storia... triste il finale! Dopo tanta fatica e svuotato delle parole e senza immaginazione, il povero avventuriero non è riuscito a godere della sua ricompensa. Hai una bella capacità di scrittura, bravo/a.

Grazie Carlo per essere passato e per l'incoraggiamento! É proprio il paradosso finale che mi piaceva.. capisco il tuo commento e difatti c'é un seguito. Non sono sicuro che vagherá per sempre e a volte il fato tesse strane trame.

Allora se deciderai di pubblicarlo, attenderò il secondo capitolo :-)

Eccolo qui! spero ti piaccia ;-)