There's an Aussie here, @plushzilla.
He's a "Justice of the Peace", a lot like a notary public.
He doesn't have a horse in this race, and he's been posting a lot recently on the topic of arbitration.
You guys might be really enjoying yourselves, but if you'd like an independent third party to carefully look at all the facts and both of your best arguments, then decide who needs to apologise; maybe take it to him so you can bury the hatchet in time for New Years.