A Greying Pane [original poetry]

in #poetry7 years ago
   

A Greying Pane

and if the corners of the room
stay dark, the lines of sunshine never
quite penetrating past the curtain,
past the bookcased pages of advice
where bent fingers followed lines
with a slow drag, an inhale, turning
each page with a white callous,
closing covers, then pushing spines
back into place—

and if the corners of the room
hide the dusty strands of hanging silk
at odd angles, the work
of the curling legs of a long-dead spider,
hardened in its arching against the white wall
now grey with shadow—

and if the corners of the room
catch your brief glance,
a sudden understanding of the wall's
change in direction,
a sharp turn to close you in a cage,
to amplify your echo,
the banking of a broken sound wave
off the dust of muffled walls—

and if the corners of the room
pull you toward muted shadows,
press your hot cheek against
the evening window pane,
instead


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You got SNEKKED!
Because I love your post!

You got snekked is my curation project!
I aim to find good content, share a happy moment and some visibility. Your post got my upvote and I will share a link to your post in my Friday post!

You can find me on Discord or steemit.chat if you like to connect!
You can also join the you got Snekked project on discord! Here is the link to join us: https://discord.gg/nMEwmTx

Best wishes
Snekky

Thank you Snekky, and I like your glasses very much.

A wonderful piece of art really ... I think it transcends just being called poetry. The words are sublime and brimming with meaning and the photo and placement in relation to the words are perfection. I have to ask, geke. What is the markup voodoo that allowed the left/right alignment. Please share:)

Thanks for noticing the design! Long ago and far away I used to be a desktop publisher, designing pages for a small magazine in Chicago and it suddenly hit me this morning that all my Steemit pages looked... plain and predictable. So yeah, I decided to do things a little differently today. I cropped a photo very tall and thin, then used a div tag to place it to the left of the poem < div class="pull-left" > (remove the spaces). Then used < h6 > on the text of the poem, for something different than whatever that seraph font is they use here.

Thank you, geke. I will give that a go on my next post. Slowly learning more technique on here. That for the pointer:)

This is an incredible practice in mindfulness, @geke, an art form captured in verse for sure.

I liked the page turning and smoking imagery you set the stage with here; the emphasis on the details to pull your readers into a piece that is details, wherein the message lies.

The sense of feel and that connection with the narrator before the transition to the seeing of the unseen. The revelatory nature of this turn, again rooted in the details of details, and the way it sets the reader up for the recognition of the small pieces that compose this moment, this image.

and the snap feeling of cold glass against the press of skin and the way that imitates the eureka moment so succinctly, nothing else needs to be said.

it may be perfectly framed by some good use of div class formatting, and I think that's indicative of how it is framed at the wall corner, or against the window pane.

Gives it that multidimensional feel, it's all too mindful. Lovely read, @geke.

Nobody has ever given me such a detailed and mindful response. Thank you for that, and thank you for reading. I appreciate your feedback and I'm so glad you enjoyed it.

Very nice poem!! You even made cobwebs sound exquisite, and the ending was wrapped up very nicely. :)

There is definitely something of the gothic in this. Which I regard as a good thing. In other words, I like. (upvotes, resteems)

Thank you so much! BTW, I'm also now following you with my @steembooks account, which will be doing some interesting things in the future, I hope!

Your imagery is so vivid. I love the form you used to post this.

This was my favorite part

and if the corners of the room
hide the dusty strands of hanging silk
at odd angles, the work
of the curling legs of a long-dead spider,
hardened in its arching against the white wall
now grey with shadow—

I really like your cool words. They are polished refind diamonds. How can we appreciate great soul, greater than your precious jems.It feels like you have collected pearl from deep end of the sea and decorated nicely.I always try to follow your post and it gives me some pleasure@upvoted and resteemed

great writing...
carry on...

Infact @geke you are great. This is so beautiful for my liking