Why Perfectionism Can Be An Emotional Paradox

"Shame lurks where perfectionism exists. The root of perfectionism is shame. Yes, shame is essentially the emotion that drives perfectionism.

It's a fundamental emotion that we mostly inherited from our parents or educators when we were young.

Let's make an effort to accurately identify the perfectionism that coexists with our shame.

Under the pretext of becoming the best version of ourselves, perfectionism actually weakens us since it is overly preoccupied with what other people may think.

Ironically, one of the main things that keeps you from becoming a better version of yourself and being an expert at what you do is perfectionism.

Because, in contrast to perfectionism, it is more productive to view errors and setbacks as chances to grow and learn about oneself while also approaching learning with curiosity and joy.

On the other hand, perfectionism kills creativity and curiosity. We can develop an obsession with going back to the times when we were children and they made fun of us for not being better.

Nonetheless, there are several ways of thinking that balance perfectionism. Even if we are not really flawless, we can get quite close to being perfect when we embrace these.

Let's think about the business Amazon. It seems nonsensical that a business with this level of success would not have a failed product in its past.

But "Fire Phone" is hardly the only one—it's among Amazon's least successful offerings.

Interestingly enough, though, Jeff Bezos tells his shareholders the following after this phone call rather than expressing regret:

"We are now working on even bigger failures, so if you think this is a significant failure, think again. I'm not joking. There are even some that will make the Fire Phone appear like a small inconvenience.

Amazon's success can be attributed to its unwavering perseverance in the face of potential setbacks, which has become the company's guiding principle.

It is impossible for an Amazon to exist today if they were a stickler for accuracy and embarrassed about their errors.

As a firm and as individuals, we still relate a lot of identical success (failure) tales today.

In his "Film Photography" course at the University of Florida, Jerry Uelsman splits his students into two groups.

The first group, called the "quantity" group, will be graded according on how many pictures they shoot. Put otherwise, pupils in this category will obtain an A for taking 100 images, and a B for taking 90.

The "quality" group is the other group, and their task is to capture the greatest possible picture and return it. These students only need to take one flawless picture in order to receive good grades.

Interestingly, our professor observes that the "quantity" group takes the greatest pictures as a result of this social experiment. Because they experiment with lighting and angles repeatedly and through trial and error, kids learn how to take better pictures.

By participating in several theoretical talks and conjectures about the ideal shot, the other group is unable to advance themselves since they are fixated on the idea of capturing the flawless picture.

This is actually the fundamental paradox of perfectionism that we discussed earlier: learning and development require making mistakes and failing.

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