What behaviour can we adopt in the face of criticism to not get hurt?
How some people overlook criticism is sometimes a mystery.
Maybe they can become deaf whenever they want? Of course not. So how are they so strong?
Attitude distinguishes those who are insensitive to criticism from those who are not. Some rationalise criticism and oppose it when they believe it is unreasonable or impertinent, whereas others create a self-discourse dominated by negative thoughts that lower their morale, attitude, and self-esteem.
Pedro and Carlos pick up chicks at a nightclub. Pedro is shyer than Carlos, and even though both want to converse and dance with girls, Pedro is frightened that a girl would reject him, even though Carlos would throw after 10 minutes and already be chasing another girl. Carlos attracted more girls than Pedro at night.
What can we learn from this? Fear of criticism, rejection, or ridicule is all in your head. The criticism didn't destabilise Carlos and Laura since they saw it as an opportunity to develop and try again.
For Carlos and Laura, criticism is not rejection, unlike Pedro and Maria.
Without our permission, critics can't offend us. We're unaffected by harsh criticism. Since we made the mistake, others' opinions can't hurt us.
In the contrary instance, if someone legitimately criticises us for something we did or did wrong, we should not feel unhappy, spiteful, or anguished.
Since criticism can be useful, we must accept it, remember it, and find different ways to attain our goals. Whether critiques are justified or not, our mindset makes them destructive.
What can we do when criticised?
It's always unpleasant to face criticism; we throw ourselves on the defensive and try to deconstruct the other's arguments with massive, often unclear language walls. It's crucial to put yourself in the shoes of the critic.
You need empathy and positivity to do this. Put yourself in the shoes of the other and consider their perspective to better comprehend their behaviour.
Being cheerful when criticised makes you more meek, open, and willing to talk and listen. A positive attitude involves avoiding raising your voice and asking questions when you don't understand anything or feel that the other person isn't giving you enough information.
Recognising that criticism is true is what we mean. There are “semi-unjustified” criticisms, so you can usually find some truth in the other's points. If someone said something true, acknowledge it. Saying nothing is preferable than lying if there is none.
We avoid a conversation of criticism and defensiveness by striving to identify common ground and showing the other that we value their input.
To avoid destroying others, we must not ignore key issues when expressing our opinions. To do this, we can utilise clear language and emphasis on facts.
Avoiding labelling others and admitting we may be incorrect are key to being conscious of our mistakes.