How to Overcome Empathy Overwhelm
Many patients struggle with accessing their empathy because they fear being overwhelmed by the emotions that come with it. The process of exploring their own feelings can feel painful or unsafe. They worry about becoming exhausted by the problems and dramas of others.
Family, friends, and co-workers often expect more than individuals feel prepared to give. The desire to help can create a conflict; no one wants to let others down. However, establishing healthy boundaries is critical.
This can involve simply saying "no" or clarifying limits, such as stating, "I can only give you this much right now." Unfortunately, doing this may lead to feelings of guilt or a fear of rejection.
The sensation of being overwhelmed by the emotions of those close to you is uncomfortable. When loved ones are suffering, empathizing with their pain is a natural response. People care for one another and want to assist, but it is not always possible to resolve their issues.
For example, one patient witnessed his mother struggling with depression, and he began to feel depressed as well. His distress only lessened when his mother sought therapy and started to improve.
Another case involved a patient whose husband's severe back pain became something she felt in her own body. These examples highlight the challenge of developing empathy; they show the need for setting healthy boundaries and practicing self-care.
Sensitive individuals are especially prone to taking on the emotions or physical symptoms of others. When too much information or too many feelings come all at once, it can lead to sensory overload.
To maintain a sense of balance and avoid overwhelm, it is essential to protect oneself. This might mean stepping back from a situation or finding time to decompress when external pressures become too intense.
During my medical school experience at USC, we often heard about "Medical Student’s Syndrome." This condition involved students mimicking the symptoms of various illnesses they studied, ranging from common viruses to serious heart conditions. Some studies suggest that up to 70% of medical students might experience this phenomenon.
This is a clear instance of empathy overwhelm, even if we didn't label it as such at the time. While suggestibility played a part, many of us were idealistic doctors-in-training who cared deeply and became overly immersed in the treatment of our patients.
This topic was seldom discussed, leaving many of us puzzled and anxious. Those of us with strong empathic tendencies were especially sensitive to taking on the pain of others.
Furthermore, my protective and loving Jewish mother instilled in me a habit of imagining worst-
case scenarios regarding health, such as interpreting a simple sneeze as a sign of a serious illness. As students, we lacked the training to set clear boundaries or confront our fears about illness, which could hinder our ability to help patients.
It is important to understand that empathy works on a spectrum; it is not a simple switch that can be turned on or off. You have the ability to regulate your empathy levels. When empathizing with someone, it is possible to communicate compassionately.
For example, you can say, "I care, and this is what I can offer right now." You have control over how involved you choose to be in any situation.
Just because someone expresses a need does not mean you must fulfill it. To actively manage how you express empathy, you can reference specific "rights" that help maintain a healthy mindset. Keeping these rights in mind can serve as a safeguard against becoming overwhelmed before those feelings escalate.