How pain is inevitable, but suffering is optional
What sets apart those who endure suffering year after year from those who process their pain and find pathways to healing is their approach to that pain. People generally fall into two groups: those who actively seek solutions and move forward, and those who remain trapped in their suffering.
It may seem at odds with what we want, but in reality, no one chooses to suffer willingly. Yet, many find themselves stuck in patterns that keep them in pain.
The question arises: what is the benefit of holding onto this pain? Through both personal and professional experiences, I've come to recognize the complexities of suffering. At different points in my life, I found myself clinging to the identity of a sufferer, believing that my pain defined who I was. This attachment was not always conscious.
It stemmed from a deeper, often hidden need to feel significant, to receive attention, or to find comfort in familiarity. Struggling can become a default state, one that we lean on, even without realizing it.
As humans, we seem to have an innate connection to problems. Struggles give us purpose and a focus for our energy. It can feel empowering to conquer challenges, even if just momentarily.
But what do we truly gain from this cycle? In psychosynthesis, we frequently ask, “What do you gain from this behavior or condition?” This inquiry reminds us that many of our states and behaviors provide some form of benefit.
You might be surprised to learn that there are often underlying reasons we cling to pain. We may do so to elevate our self-esteem, to earn praise from others, or to feel secure. Pain can serve as a shield, helping us avoid deeper issues or responsibilities.
It may even give us a sense of purpose. For some, suffering can become a source of meaning, especially for those driven by idealistic tendencies.
In the context of energy psychology, this type of suffering is referred to as “The Idealist.” Many people have this energy present in their psychological make-up. They may believe that sacrifices are necessary for the greater good.
This mindset can cause a person to become accustomed to pain, making it difficult to envision life without it. It is valuable to ask yourself honestly what you gain from your problems. Who would you be without your struggles?
This notion may feel unusual or uncomfortable. Many find it hard to picture a life without challenges because we often view it as unattainable.
If this idea provokes a reaction within you, it may be a sign of an opportunity to gain new insights. It is essential to examine your own motivations and feelings about your pain. Taking a closer look may lead to understanding the hidden benefits that keep you bound to suffering.