Sort:  

I know it is pejorative and I am not disputing that. I mean for a man, it is not thrashed as such. But that word quickly comes into play when its a woman involved. I am just saying the definition works differently based on who is involved.

If a word is more commonly used for one gender than another, it doesn't mean that it's favored or disfavored in that gender.

There are at least three possible explanations for that phenomenon:

  1. It is favoured or disfavoured in that gender, as you suggest.
  2. The behaviour is more common in that gender.
  3. The choice of word is different per gender. For example a male demonstrating the same behaviour may be referred to as dominating, authoritarian or strict, since they are essentially the same attitudes but those words are more associated with men.

I think we are making the same point now, but maybe we are expressing it differently? It works normally on the male folks and on the female, well... a bit differently