The Destructive Power of Shame on Our Lives and How to Treat It...
Hello, dear Steemians!
Shame is like an infection. If you do not treat it, it will turn into a devastating wound. If you somehow survive the wound, it will fester deep in your heart and wait for the perfect opportunity to strike again.
The idea that we are flawed and make mistakes, or might be able to make mistakes, creates the feeling of shame in our mind. Shame might also come with other insecurities, for instance a refusal to accept belonging or deeming one’s self unworthy of love.
In time, shame will turn into your biggest enemy when it comes to decision-making and actually taking steps to change or improve your life.
The more you pressure shame into hiding in the corners of your mind, or ignore its existence altogether, the more power and influence it will have on your life. You merely think that you have destroyed it, but the thoughts will always be with you.
Emotions can often be destructive. When you are too sensitive, you are prone to everybody and everything hurting you in a way.
The most destructive and harmful emotion is shame, because it is also the most obscured and hidden due to its very nature. We hide shame, and we hoard the pain of shame with all the power we possess.
The only true way to rid yourself of shame, once and for all, is to confront it before it has time to settle in the depths of your very existence.
When you feel shame, you focus on the result of your supposed inadequacy. When you feel guilt, you are acknowledging that you have done something wrong. There is a huge difference between shame and guilt.
Shame is indifferent, and it also presents itself as inevitable, undeniable, and invulnerable.
You begin to think that you cannot do anything to change it, whereas guilt comes with acceptance; the idea that you indeed have done something wrong and now you can find a way to atone for it.
You can think and plan, while all shame does for you is hurt your feelings and destroy your self-confidence. Because while guilt comes with embarrassment or humiliation, shame comes with the denial of grace and self-confidence.
You can always get over embarrassment, but you cannot get over the idea that you may be worthless.
It may be difficult, but the only thing you can do is talk about your shame. First with yourself, then with those who are in your confidence and can always relate to you on a deeper and more profound level of comprehension and understanding.
Think about what it is that brings you shame.
Do not be afraid to face it. Is it a past memory?
Is it something you have done to someone else?
It is your own shortcoming? Is it something that might not have been your fault in the first place?
Define what brings you shame. It might be difficult to do, but if you do it, you will find peace at the end of the road.
After that, talk to the people closest to you.
Share with them and talk about the pain that you are going through as a result of that shame. Talk about all the insecurities and the dilemmas that shame has brought to you.
Counsel with them, and see what advice they have in store for you.
Even after reading this, you may be tempted to hide your shame and pay no heed to it.
But trust me, my friends, in time, that shame will swallow you whole and leave nothing but a carcass of who you should have been and what you should have done.
Face your shame, as hard as it might be, and come out victorious from the vicious battle that ensues!
A BIG HUG!
==================
Important Note!
I have been working very hard on this blog since the beginning. I have a very busy life but I am giving my best and believe me I have shared experiences that I have been coaching thousands of people and I know that the change of the Mindset should be daily. I am already grateful to see you giving upvotes to each other and you can see this with the fact that many already have 8, 9, 10 upvotes. But I'm sure that with the effort of all of us we will see a community with, 40, 50 upvotes and for that everyone should get engaged so we can make it come true. I believe and we can! Resteem...
***Remember Community: Please, if you commented and upvote on a new post I did, please always go back to the previous one because if someone in the community commented lastly because of time zone differences it will be without your upvote and that would not be fair.
You all know the goal! We can reach: 50+ Upvotes each others!
Attention!!!
I'm reading all the meaningful comments from the posts.
I am here making a list of all of you who have helped build this community by voting for each other who write meaningful comments and soon I will respond to everyone with comment and thank you all because I can already see this spirit being built in this Positive Mindset community and help between all of you.
You will receive my upvote in all material and brief comments I will do this in all the posts I am following very closely and I can see what the people who are generous and contribute to this legacy that I am trying to build with all of you can become reality in a short time.
AND
First of all, I would like to thank all of you, who are the most active and proactive in this community, showing your generosity and always with meaningful comments. From now on I will always make a list of these incredible people who have helped to expand our goal of growing ever more.
But I ask that if you are new around here you read many of the previous posts because they make it clear that we are building a community with respect among all, generosity and this blog is for those who really want to start moving their Mindset to positive and moreover be part of the growth of all of us who contribute to this blog. Please do not ask to include you in the list if you are just wanting upvotes because we want here people genuinely attuned to growth and good attitudes and as I have always said with Respect as the basis of all, generosity and positivity!
ABOUT OUR LIST!!! WE NEED GROW THIS LIST! LET'S GO TOGETHER IN THIS COMMUNITY - RESTEEM!
Feel free if you want to be included in the list of contributors to this community. Just ask at the end of your comment.
@juanmanuellopez1 @moghul @coolguy222 @newageinv @gowealth @blessed-girl @cruis @lexymaine @alokkumar121 @aceandnotes @darlenys01 @rafique1953 @marvyinnovation @wems @ajks @alaisguineasis @amnlive @kimmysomelove42 @praditya @tommyl33 @samryan @vickykarma @brightsun @oppongk @kryp70kn1gh7 @hobo.media @theticket @royer94 @bradley028 @nummulshrma @maxijgcomm @maikelblogo @mrblu @nancymj @petervi @mcoinz79 @missabigail @saludoalalma @mcnestler @moarafatshow @gargi @luis402 @rem-steem @shahzadeh @sumon-ar-vines @naijauser @yantrax @josema.saborido @khan.dayyanz @shapescooper @aceofhearts @marcocosta @rvag5 @fusroj @cashlane @borrowedearth @michaeljn @kchitrah @mitchhunter @nataliaeline @cherlianny @unknownphoton @unclefz @gardengranny @bettyamv @ghostwriter9 @wandrnrose7 @nancybriti @missladybug @shirophantomhive @rvag5 @ankitjnv @marvyinnovation @tommyl33 @gowealth @ustaadonline @daio @brightsun @mzubairch @lightestofideas @amit1995 @starapple @treodecimo @edinhazard @maxijgcomm @wasito @mariita52 @maroni55 @nataliaeline @ajtech2596 @keithf @wesleyvanderstel @grainsofsand @mariita52 @naijauser @castleirwell @juanmanuellopez1 @moghul @coolguy222 @newageinv @gowealth @blessed-girl @cruis @lexymaine @alokkumar121 @aceandnotes @darlenys01 @rafique1953 @marvyinnovation @wems @ajks @alaisguineasis @amnlive @kimmysomelove42 @praditya @tommyl33 @samryan @vickykarma @brightsun @oppongk @kryp70kn1gh7 @hobo.media @theticket @royer94 @bradley028 @nummulshrma @maxijgcomm @maikelblogo @mrblu @nancymj @petervi @mcoinz79 @missabigail @saludoalalma @mcnestler @moarafatshow @gargi @luis402 @shahzadeh @sumon-ar-vines @naijauser @yantrax @josema.saborido @khan.dayyanz @shapescooper @aceofhearts @marcocosta @rvag5 @fusroj @cashlane @borrowedearth @michaeljn @kchitrah @mitchhunter @nataliaeline @cherlianny @unknownphoton @unclefz @gardengranny @bettyamv @ghostwriter9 @wandrnrose7 @nancybriti @missladybug @shirophantomhive @rvag5 @ankitjnv @marvyinnovation @tommyl33 @gowealth @ustaadonline @daio @brightsun @mzubairch @lightestofideas @amit1995 @starapple @treodecimo @edinhazard @maxijgcomm @wasito @mariita52 @maroni55 @nataliaeline @ajtech2596 @keithf @wesleyvanderstel @grainsofsand @mariita52 @naijauser @castleirwell @isabelpereira @nulifeiq @royer94 @yaleal @ushmil @nisiryan0522 @reveurgam @certain @kkins @nurseanne84 @robertyan @xtophercruzeu @theureview @anil566 @freedomanytime @clayrawlings @zetacoin @goldheart @artoftherhyme @jiujitsu @don-thomas @arsl14 @vishalmajumdar @thehippierays @kemc @aple @orgoniteog @abrish @zydane @cathynsons @shashiprabha @katebobkova @tramelibre @sanjoea
Thanks All of You!!!!
Thank you for being here. This is exactly what I needed to hear. I've fallen so far into the pit of shame that I've become completely helpless, my biggest fear. I am here on this earth to help and heal people. To fill in those empty spaces in people's hearts. It is a power that I've allowed to be taken from me.
Here's the story:
I've been working as a barista, at a magical place where people go to be a part of something. A family. When people have problems, the community takes care of them. I'm always there to listen, to give advice, free food, hugs, quick shoulder rubs, a good remedy for a cold. I felt needed. Loved.
I was just about to start massage school in my attempt to fix the world.
And then I developed a severe case of carpal tunnel due to the job itself, and it's taken everything from me. I became a burden to my coworkers. My customers became a burden to me. After a year of struggles, it's gotten worse and worse, now to the point where I can no longer hold a cup of coffee in either hand, let alone probably ever give another massage in this lifetime. So here I sit, unable to feed myself, unable to even afford to feed myself.
Unable to HELP ANYONE, even myself.
My partner has to make me food, do my dishes, clean the house, pour my water, see me in my pajamas everyday, watching me waste away. The emotional toll it's taken on me is contagious, and I can see it eating away at him to.
This is not the life he signed up for.
I'm ruining his life by being loved by him.
I should not be loved.
I have become a disease, for which there is no cure.
I couldn't help but cry when I got a text this morning, from one of my customers and friends (and avid Steemit user), who I've helped in the past during his time of crisis. He gave me a grocery gift card that anybody is able to add money to. He also offered me a marketing job for the new company he started (which you'll hear all about if you follow me in my journey)
I know this is already an excessively long comment, but the whole point is that it just felt good to get that out. To be heard. I invite anyone who is feeling helpless to come talk to me. I think it would help me to feel like me again. You need to know that you are not alone.
To whoever actually reads this:
I, a complete stranger, care deeply about you. You matter, even to me, a complete stranger.
Hi, your comment is the best I could read among everyone in this post. We are all important and that is why I have worked hard to develop People's Positive Mindset. This has worked very well here. What do I have to say to you?
1 - Stop thinking so you're nothing!
2 - You are a person and all important people are cinclusive you.
3 - For things to change you have to change.
4 - Believe me, there are more good people in the world than bad people.
5 - You matter, you just need to see it.
6 - You're not alone and deserve my 100% Upvote!
Regards
Aww I wasn't even expecting that, thank you @chbartist! I think I might add you to my @ginabot list for a little daily cheering up. Thanks for making Steemit a better place ^.^
My partner said something to me today too that really hit home:
"The emotional state that you've been in due to your physical weakness, seems to have become your biggest weakness. I think it's what's keeping you from healing."
@swiftbot tip 100
⚡$$$ Tipped @chbartist
⚡100.00000000 SWIFT! Comment@swiftbot helpto claim. Currently the price of SwiftCash in the market is$0.0022 USDperSWIFT. Current value of the tip is$0.2200 USD. To find out more about SwiftCash, please read our whitepaper!@chbartist sir
Shame is a very broad word. It is probably impossible to bind in words. Shame and shame are the jewelery format for women but-
It is a matter of shame to fall into the eyes of society or family due to their mistakes.
If someone is being tortured, and we see a spectacle in a trance, then it is a matter of shame for us.
It is a matter of shame for us if old parents leave the father in their old ashram at the time of their need.
If we differentiate between boys and girls and consider girls to be burdens, then it is a matter of shame for us.
We are the environmental protection movement but it is shame for us that our environment is contaminated.
And there are so many things not known that we deliberately keep our heads lifted proudly. It is a matter of thinking that in reality we are acting as a true man.
Really shame is very dangerous for us we have to face this threat and find a way to get ride from it. As you stated this is very harmful so we have to find a way so we can do something extraordinary to get our goal.
Thanks for sharing this post.i like it this post.i appreciate your valuable post.. good day
I think person should be open minded in this case. If i talk about myself then of all I try not to do the thing for which i have to feel shame later. But if I still do then I don't feel shameful in front of people. We must have the courage to acknowledge our mistakes also.
Thanks for the post @chbartist
Posted using Partiko Android
I think shame comes because we feel vulnerable to what others may say about us. We feel vulnerable to other people's pointers. But the moment we understand that no one is perfect and that we all somehow make mistakes then the shame is minimized.
i guess in actually the thing which always feel us shame is bad deed which are done by us to people either intentionally or un intentionally and when we ever it reviews in mind it feel us shame and we dnt have a big heart to for apology.
Like any other type of problem, embarrassment is solved by confronting it, assuming the consequences of our actions in order to know it better and understand what it consists of. All problems when they evade become larger and more difficult to control, and shame is no exception.
Shame is part of our life, often to certain events that cause us to produce this negative feeling but we can overcome it by believing in ourselves and leaving fear.
I would like to be a member of the collaboration!!!
Thanks @chbartist
I can include you in the list, but please read important notes in this posts. If I include U in the list you receive notifications every time that I post and some peoples don't like this. If you want let me now! Regards