How to Actually Use the Coping Skills You Learn
Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) includes a variety of skills that aim to help individuals manage intense emotions, curb impulsive actions, and create fulfilling lives.
In my experience as a DBT therapist, one frequent challenge my clients encounter is remembering to apply the coping skills they have acquired during therapy sessions. This difficulty often arises during moments of stress when they feel overwhelmed and may revert to old habits.
Fortunately, DBT has solutions to address this issue as well. One effective technique that I often suggest to my clients is the creation of a "distress tolerance kit." This kit serves as a personalized collection of resources to use when confronted with distressing situations or urges to engage in harmful behaviors.
A distress tolerance kit can take many forms. For some, it may be a physical space, such as a designated drawer in their bedroom, a basket located in their living room or closet, or a specific compartment in their backpack.
Others may prefer to create a digital kit, storing their tools and coping reminders in a note on their phone or a document accessible through Google Drive.
The essence of this kit is to house various items that assist in coping during times of heightened stress or emotional turmoil. Each individual's kit is unique, tailored to personal needs and preferences. However, for those who are just beginning their DBT journey, there are five essential components that I frequently recommend.
The first item is a Cope Ahead Plan. This DBT skill helps individuals prepare for challenging situations before they arise. It involves outlining a specific strategy to handle an upcoming stressor and visualizing oneself successfully executing that plan.
Including a written Cope Ahead Plan in your distress tolerance kit provides a clear guide to follow when feeling overwhelmed. If creating a full plan feels daunting, even a simple list of effective coping strategies can serve the same purpose.
Second, I advise including a Distracting Pleasant Activity. It is important to have at least one enjoyable activity in your kit that has consistently brought you joy or laughter in the past. Reflect on the hobbies or interests that uplift you. This could range from reading favorite books to listening to music or rewatching a beloved TV show.
If the activity can physically fit in your kit, add it directly, such as placing a book inside. If not, consider writing a reminder note about the activity. If the kit is digital, include links to playlists or videos that you find comforting.
This detailed approach to building a distress tolerance kit can empower individuals as they navigate the ups and downs of emotional life. By equipping themselves with useful resources, they increase their ability to manage difficult emotions and reduce impulsive behaviors.