MINDFULNESS ATTITUDES - ACCEPTANCE
Acceptance is a very active process; it is not passive resignation, but rather an acknowledgement of the reality of things as they are. Acceptance does not preclude working to alter the environment or circumstances; rather, it indicates that if we do not accept things as they are, we will attempt to change them, which can be extremely challenging.
The readiness to accept things exactly as they are in the present moment marks the beginning of the acceptance process. Resignation is not a part of acceptance. It concerns bravery. It involves having the guts to admit that you have a problem by looking it in the eye. Similar to how alcoholics must first admit they have a problem before taking action, we must realise that we have a problem and stop attempting to hide it. By refusing to hide it, we are not hiding it from ourselves but from others. attempting to escape my own self-imposed denial.
Can you maintain a present-tense focus, embracing each moment as it arises, and interacting with whatever arises? Often, you have to go through periods of extreme emotions like wrath, fear, or grief in order to be able to accept what comes into awareness. Accepting these emotions is necessary in and of itself. Acceptance entails observing things as they are, not how you would like them to be, or how you think they should be.
Keep in mind that only the here and now can change anything. If you want to improve, heal, or transform yourself or your life, you must accept things as they are and accept who you are right now. In order to facilitate change, it is crucial to have a knowledge of acceptance and a readiness to feel your emotions. Our mindful awareness exercises focus heavily on improving our capacity for present-moment awareness. Being in the moment without accepting what we discover there, though, will prevent us from getting the most out of our practise.
Acceptance entails a softening and opening to what is already present. It takes concentration and focus to allow ourselves to participate with the present moment fully and with complete acceptance. However, it ought to be cosy and allow the impression of striving to fade. The odd thing about acceptance is that by giving up on all the energy we were using to struggle against and deny the way things are right now, our energy is freed up to approach the problem with some newly acquired knowledge.
Understanding that acceptance does not need you to agree with everything or have a passive attitude is crucial. People frequently equate acceptance with toleration or surrender. It does not mean you have to be satisfied with things as they are, or that you have to stop trying to change things for the better. As we are speaking of it here, acceptance simply means willingness to see things as they are, deeply, truthfully, and completely. This attitude sets the stage for acting in the most potent and healthy way in your life, no matter what is happening.
This is not a revelation which belongs only to mindfulness, many of us will remember the poem "If" by Rudyard Kipling (an extract which sums up acceptance):
If you can dream-and not make dreams your master;
If you can think-and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
It is not an easy option, it requires patience and practice. Acceptance enables us to make choices with the full facts at our disposal, with an objectivity which means that we can make the best decisions possible. The stoic approach which tells us to be concerned about only those things over which we have control requires the acceptance to understand what we can control. The words of the "Serenity Prayer" by Reinhold Niebuhr is another example of acceptance.
God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
courage to change the things I can,
and wisdom to know the difference
If you don't hold that kind of spiritual belief, you don't have to think of this as a prayer; the idea of acceptance is still true.
Acceptance supports our non-judgement and non-striving to stay mindful and aware, while all of the mindfulness attitudes support one another.