Thoughts about the worth or value you think you have as a person
Listening during my Walk & Talk sessions with clients highlights complex reasons behind self-esteem issues. Self-esteem is not simply high or low; it exists on a spectrum that can be both positive and negative.
Individuals may experience high self-esteem in certain situations while feeling low in others. This fluctuation is influenced by one's self-perception and the thoughts formed about oneself.
People need to understand that thoughts are not reality. Just because someone thinks something about themselves does not mean it is true. Recognizing this separation between self-worth and thoughts is crucial for personal growth.
In many cases, childhood experiences significantly shape self-esteem. When parents are either too careless and disengaged or overly controlling, it can leave lasting effects on a child's self-view.
A lack of a nurturing and supportive childhood can lead individuals to internalize a sense of inadequacy, carrying that feeling into adulthood. When parents struggle to create a loving environment, children may grow up believing they are not good enough.
While the past cannot be changed, individuals have the power to find healing through forgiveness. By working to forgive parents or caregivers who contributed to low self-esteem, one can begin to liberate themselves from the negative impact of those early experiences.
This process takes time, as ingrained beliefs and messages often feel like an inherent part of one's identity. It involves consciously shifting the narrative about oneself to focus on strengths, joys, and personal interests.
Negative relationships, whether with family, friends, or colleagues, also play a significant role in one’s self-esteem. When those close to us display disrespect, undermine boundaries, shame, or inflict emotional and physical harm, it can foster feelings of guilt and shame. Victims often conclude that they do not deserve love or kindness.
Sometimes, the best course of action is to sever ties with toxic relationships. This can be particularly challenging when those involved are family members. Establishing boundaries and expressing needs is crucial in these situations.
Most people can understand when someone communicates their discomfort or sets limits. In cases of abuse, immediate separation may be necessary for safety and wellbeing.
In summary, self-esteem is complex, influenced by past experiences and relationships. Understanding these factors allows for meaningful change.