How to let go of the past that prevents you from moving forward
People usually have a negative attitude when asked about their past.
We rarely see the bright side since we focus on what we didn't do, our mistakes, etc. This leads to regret, remorse, or frustration.
This book, “Choose your own adventure” (French), lets readers choose their own courses.
Same thing happens in real life. We often consider what may have happened if we had chosen differently.
Humans strive for perfection and think their life would have been better if they had made different choices.
It is rarely considered that if they had made other options, it may have been worse, and since we cannot know, the most sensible thing is to accept things as they are. Without shame or frustration, they arrived.
Things could have been better or worse, but they made us who we are today.
We ignore the fact that we judge by results. This option was erroneous, thus we guess we chose wrong!
We forget that when we made the decision, it didn't seem wrong and that all the data increased that possibility in our thinking.
Give an example of this odd cognitive phenomenon. We enter the kitchen and see a chair leg that is broken and shaky. After eating, we fix it.
A surprise guest sits on the wobbly chair after we finish cooking, even though we thought it would stay free.
The guest didn't notice and we forgot it was ruined. While eating, it falls to the floor!
Please consider your reasoning: you should have fixed it sooner, someone may sit down, etc.
Worse, you can harshly critique yourself: I'm lazy and preoccupied, I always procrastinate.
When you postponed the repair, you didn't think anyone would come, and your dinner would have become cold if you had mended the chair then. You always blame yourself.
Since we can't change the past, thinking about what we could have done doesn't help.
We should accept the past with an open and cheerful mind to avoid psychological stagnation.
We must remember mistakes and unfavourable situations in a positive light, believing that all experiences have been turned into knowledge.
Ask yourself this to learn from each terrible incident.
How would I react in the same circumstance today, and what did I learn?
Know that if your life had been smooth, perfect, and problem-free, you would not have learned so much.
Example of overprotective parents. If parents don't allow their kids make errors and fix them themselves, they prolong the learning process and make their kids unable to cope with failure, which produces tension and conflict.
We prefer to remember the bad rather than the good.
Some individuals believe nothing wonderful happened to them in the past, yet there are many little times when we enjoy life, and if we look back at those things that made us happy, our minds will instantly focus on good past occurrences.
Making a list of 10 nice things that happened to us will help you see your past more clearly.
Small things that made us happy can also be included.