Darkest before the dawn !
I had a really difficult weekend.... I went thru a lot physically and mentally. I really just needed someone to talk to. Someone to hear me out. Someone to listen.
I guess that lead to stupid actions on my part. I’m at my lowest point and need someone to speak to . So I call the guy who was my best friend . The one who promised to be there for me when I needed him. I wasn’t looking to talk to the man I loved . I just needed someone to talk to.
Sometimes we just have to deal with things on our own I guess. Sometimes we have to deal with the fact that , my problems aren’t anyone else’s problems. And other times , you have to deal with the fact that some people don’t care either. It’s been a crazy past few years for me. Filled with ups and downs .... and many life lessons.
Steepshot
I hope somehow you found someone or a way to ventilate. My life is full of up and downs as well. It always been. So no good years after 7 bad... I still hear people say: Your time will come too. Well it did not come and I doubt it will ever come. I simply try to focus on the good stuff, do not count on others to help me out and am happy if there is a descent internet connection.
Thanks ... I didn’t find that person to vent or talk to ...but it’s ok .... I made it thru ..... it also taught me that nothing is forever ....I think we have to make the most of our current situations .... that’s really it .
I have found that unfortunately people are not always what they seem. If someone is truly your friend or has ever really cared about you , they should be there in your time of need. Unfortunately there are too many people that come into our lives and stay until you serve their purpose. If you ever want to talk, I can give you my number and we can talk. I have been thru many depressing situations and felt alone. It’s not an easy thing to overcome.
awww I'm so sorry that I didn't see this sooner @anonymity5! You can't go "back"; none of us can.
I didn’t want to go back .... I just really needed to talk to someone , who wasn’t going to judge me, who knew me , who knew my situation. I just needed someone to listen , or maybe tell me everything was going to work out , or maybe it won’t, or maybe give me advice . Getting what we had back was not what I was looking for. I just really needed a friend, one I could confide in. One who knew my history. I know he’s beyond moved on , and that’s great for him. As long as he really is happy, I’m happy for him. I hope what he found is real and lasts. I just needed my friend.
aww that makes sense @anonymity5! I'm sorry; I can still hear how difficult things are for you ❤️
Luckily ... I think I’ve been thru it all.... I think if I pulled thru what I’ve dealt with at home , at work, in my heart .... I can get thru anything . Everything they say happens for a reason .... I guess it’s true .... I’m still not sure what that reason is ... but I’m truly done with wanting people in my life that don’t want to be there .
Good for you @anonymity5! I used to think that everything happens for a reason, but when Brian got sick I had to rethink it all. What possible reason is there that he and I meet after each having a shitty marriage, only for this to happen. I now think that shit happens. Period. But it's how we deal with it that makes or breaks us 😅
Sending lots of love your way ❤️
You’re right . Things just happen ! There is no good reason that people have to suffer .... and sometimes at the hands of others .... why does someone have to suffer their whole lives .... while others don’t .... I don’t know 🤷🏻♀️ ... maybe saying that there has to be a reason helps people cope .... or gives them hope .... who knows .... I can’t imagine a good reason why anyone has to have cancer ... or lose a loved one ... or be abused ... etc . It just happens ! I just sometimes wish that it doesn’t all happen at once .... bc tackling one issue at a time is doable .... but 5 major events in your life at the same time ... that’s not so easy ... lol
hahaha that's a good wish to have, and I completely understand! Brian and I have to laugh sometimes at our 'lack of luck', but when we see the big picture, it doesn't really matter. Except for the cancer of course. That sucks big time :)
Yea .... i think it has more to do with luck.... some people have good luck others bad luck .... it’s not based on one thing or another ... it’s not our decisions alone , or timing , or anything else ... some people are lucky ... others aren’t... someone once told me ... that it’s 20 percent what happens to us and 80 percent how we react to it .... but sometimes we can’t react the way we should. Or there is no positive way to react to some of the things that happen to us . Cancer sucks... weather you go thru treatment.... survive it ... or it’s terminal ... either way it really sucks big time. How’s Brian doing ? And how are you doing ? I’ve been to some degree on both ends ... the patient and having a loved one be a patient. I don’t know which one is harder .