You have my continuous support for your posts. I have followed and upvoted. Transitioning would definetly entail more than "cutting it off" as you say. My son is Transgender and has fought for his identity. He had top surgery on February 14th of this year. He struggles daily even though he is transitioning and "passes as male." Therapy will help you if you go through the process, but realistically speaking you will deal with your own unique issues for the rest of your life. Some help will go a long way though even if the past shows itself in your life from time to time after therapy. My advice, humble as it may be , is to allow yourself this process because you deserve it. You didn't deserve being abused or the genetics you inherited. You do deserve therapy and help. It is going to get worse before it gets better. You will probably have nightmares and get angry. Allow yourself that because you have to feel to heal. The future is bright sir, and you are in it!