Never make yourself dependent.

It actually sounds like "never get addicted" because that's the super weird word that could also describe the unusual relationship between victim and abuser.
And now I realize that it is a kind of addiction, a mental illness that, like alcoholism, cannot be cured, no matter what anyone says to the contrary. Perhaps this is why victims tend to return to their abusers on such a large scale. And imagine how many victims don't even make it to the refuge! They don't want, they don't think there is a need for it. I recently found out about such a case very close to me and was shocked by the scale of this mental problem and its reflection in all areas of life, not only of the victim, but of all the people around them. In Bulgaria, people don't talk to each other, they don't share out of shame, this applies especially to previous generations, so a couple can spend its entire life in violence and no one will know anything about it, not even the closest friends, parents and relatives or children. The protection system is certainly not as good as it is in Germany as you describe it and that makes the situation even more difficult. But it's not even about the system so much as the reluctance caused, apparently, as a consequence of the mental complications associated with this situation.