OPTICAL COLLUSION

My wife had decided it was time for an eye exam for us. I believe this was prompted by my continued insistence that she was as beautiful as the day we were married. In fact, my eyesight had been requiring stronger $1 readers as of late. While she was being examined, I was called back for mine by the cutest little Barbie doll with long straight blonde hair and black rimmed office style glass in her white smock lab coat. Prior to the eye testing, she asked the usual background questions: Have you had surgery, any other conditions, do you smoke? Then... Do you use alcohol? Yes I admitted. Then deeper and more curiously she queried, "Socially?" I retorted, " Sure, what do have in mind?" That girl did not blink, raise an eyebrow, smile or frown. She deadpanned her expression and continued on. The eye test continued with simple yes and no questions as to what I could see or not see. What I could see was this gal had no interest in being friendly. Perhaps she misunderstood my attempt at humor, or levity. Maybe this was the 5th time today she had heard this response. Pardon me, but in my world, when someone asks if you drink socially, it tends to lead to an invitation of sorts. Now I know she had no such intention. That is why my wit was immediately directed to make light of the question. I told my wife my anecdote and she laughed hysterically. She was surprised I didn't get slapped and muttered something about me being left out of her "sight". I hardly "see" where a slap was in order, but suggested that a cocktail might be a better prescription than the one in my hand.