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HA HHA oh BURN! He'll feel that, lol.

Don't be fooled, I'm an asshole. This whole loving father thing is a facade for my passive aggressive rein of terror.

I think you should unload on him now while the honeymoon phase is fresh cause after too long he'll start being a total twat. Haha true story.

He is a lovable twat that I have so kindly allowed to be my very best friend.

Once, I had to write a paper on lemmings; which is hard to do because they are so lumpy.

Thank you.

H. G.

I told my mom she was drawing her eyebrows too high.

She looked surprised.

Golden that!😹😸😹

@artwatch thank you so much! 😁

My pleasure.

What's black and white and read all over? Not your blog😂

Who would win a race, Usain Bolt or the worlds fastest cat?
The cat would, cause he's a cheetah.

Who's faster, Lance Armstrong or a cheetah?

Making jokes is tricky. Best left to professionals.

Lance is doing alright last time I checked he was doing vlogging with porn stars making lunch... So I think he will be fine. We can joke - it ain't too soon.

Thanks

The IRS just garnished my wages. I was making a deposit at the bank when an agent walked up to me and put a crabapple and some parsley on my paycheck!!! #wagegarnishment