Alert! A Community Service Announcement! DOUBLE ALERT!!

There is a terrible rumor that Comedy Open Mic is coming back. Just when I thought my generation had suffered enough.

And a Christmas theme? I haven't been this traumatized since seeing the three tittied woman in Total Recall. Of course, I was a child then. I am now pretty sure women only have two breasts.

Please. There is no need to consider this post a contest entry. I am certain I could win by hosing the right goat (it's always about who you know,) but why brag? I can hose a goat without making a joke out of it.

Look folks. Some things are sacred. As a Christian (born Catholic, for those of you who might think I mean one of those other Protestant break-away weakling sects that now respect women, gays, and non-violence,) I believe humor and holidays do not go together... like abortions and sterile tools. Keep that stuff in the back alley where it belongs.

And now what? I suppose @amirtheawesome1 will return with savage Arab humor? @idikuci, like a dirty Saint Nick, will plummet down your chimney (or up it, if you like that kind of thing,) and aggressively upvote this post? Will @dj123 finally pop his blog cherry? Is @steemmatt out there with an erotic Chuck Norris routine? @dandesign86 from the pale arctic? There are many others too terrifying to name (including a bunch of guys from a country called Africa. wherever that is.)

Go see for yourself: Comedy Open Mic Comedy Contest - Round 47

Ok. You've been warned.

Thank you.