Living in the Or — Taking Right Action in the Face of Contradictory Beliefs ccc

I’m new around here, but one of the first posts I was fortunate enough to stumble into was this one by @positiveninja, which is worth a close read if you're into productivity and personal development.

The post is about stretching yourself and developing a mindset that is able to grow and change—something I think about a great deal as I continue developing my professional life in a sustainable and enjoyable way, outside of the corporate system. It's not always a cakewalk.

In the discussion below the piece, I articulated—for what seemed like both the first and 5,000th time—that of all of the mental habits and mindsets that encourage growth, I struggle most with persistence. When I’m faced with an obstacle, I tend to take it as a clear sign that I’m on the wrong path, and I stop immediately. I'm like, “Okay gang, let’s wrap it up. These aren’t the droids we’re looking for.” Back to the drawing board.

And the author had a simple response:

"[S]ometimes the path of least resistance is the best way, then other times we need to overcome our own inertia with some momentum & persistence..."

Again, it felt like something that I was hearing for both the first and 5,000th time: You could persist, OR you could pause and re-aim.

And as I thought about it, all the times where I was persistent to a fault came flooding back to me. There I am, that steamroller Taurusean who is definitely going to do things her way, by her rules, and like NOW.

Impediments to growth

If I take look back at those times – the times that I acted without discernment, without any regard to timeliness – I can see a familiar pattern taking shape. The excitement and novelty of a new project, the confidence that comes from education and experience. But then… the messy unpredictability of real life starts weaving its way in, slowing me down and making my quitter-trigger finger verrrry itchy. Or if the project is exciting enough, I'll try to push everything else out of the way and crank until I burn myself out.

So what’s the rule? Is it "Persist"? Or is it "Get out of the brush and back on the trail"? I wouldn't have to go very far to find common wisdom supporting either perspective. (And this is far from the only contradictory advice out there. There are all sorts of chestnuts out littering the path. )

Changing the mindset

So instead of looking outward, I've started looking in. I work to bring more ease to my life through meditation – consciously programming in beneficial behaviors and beliefs that don’t come naturally to me.

Stilling myself at length so that I can feel the tiny ebbs and flows of the planet, allowing intuition to steer me to quick and timely decisions. Keeping myself insulated from false patterns, or the pain of past failures, or electronic interruptions, all which can interrupt flow and lead to non-fruitful kneejerk reactions.

Lately, when I sit down for my morning meditation practice, I've been working to program this ability to "live in the or," allowing myself to accept the contradictions in life, knowing that when I need to choose, I'll know which to do — and if I'm lucky, also know why.

The practice involves in what I've committed to memory as as the 3 Cs: Clarity, Compassion, and Courage.

I made this handy glyph for myself for extra visual focus during meditation.

• Clarity
In the moment of decision-making, it’s important to take stock of what’s going on, see who’s involved, and what are the outcomes we’d all like to see. What is it the right time for?

• Compassion
Which option is going to do the most good and the least damage? Also compassion in accepting your past actions, and taking responsibility in the current moment.

• Courage
Picking sides is hard. And sometimes making the right decision means separating yourself from people who are your allies in other circumstances. Or it means changing your mind and accepting that you're stepping out into uncharted territory.

Working with those concepts in mind helps me unstick myself—making peace with my contradictory urges.

And as I do so, I continue learning that this synthesis and harmony is part of the art of living and thriving on this weirdly binary (and by its nature contradictory) planet.

How do you act in the face of internal contradiction -- how do you make sense out of not making sense?

This post is an entry for the Curious Contradictions Contest sponsored by @indigoocean.