"People grow when they are loved well." Is true when it comes to raising a child.. when children are loved and understood they can grow into healthy adults.

"If you want to help others heal, love them without an agenda."
"You can love someone so much. But if they don’t want to be saved, nothing will save them. Not even love."
Now both quotes seem to talk about the same thing.. loving adults who seemed not to have been loved unconditionally before, say by their parents while they were growing up.
The first quote though tells you to love those adults the way they needed it when they were little as to help them heal.. the second quote however, seems to talk about personal gain, as in loving someone and wanting them to get over their pain and get better and love you back. it seems to talk more about changing someone instead of healing them.
having said that, its rare that someone would find the kind of love they needed when it was necessary, and so ultimately people become responsible for healing themselves. we come to realize that people who wont invest time in fixing all our deep issues are not evil. it's not the responsibility of the people we love and love us back later in life to parent us. because life is not perfect, life can be painful and that's that.