Let's Relax, Get Cheesy, And Talk About Love!💞
After a recent chat on #general with a few other Steemians, I have a question for everyone reading this out there:
Can the love in a romantic relationship ever come by/exist without terms and conditions?
KEY: romantic love vs say, parental love for their kids or platonic love for a friend
I want to say yes because that's how I'd like it to be. However, I feel, in reality, it is not easily attainable.
Is it even possible?
Being able to truly, fully trust someone; no pure attachment - if they cheat on you, leave you, or pass away, you won't be devastated and can logically process it.
Are YOU capable of truly unconditional love?
OR do you know someone who is?
BTW, is Sheldon Cooper's love for Amy Farrah Fowler purely logical? Considering how Sheldon doesn't understand societal norms and is oblivious to people's feelings.
Unconditional love can definitely exist. My grandfather was a perfect example of this.
Had plenty of money to put my grandma in home, but instead took care of her himself until his kids forced him to get help. At which point he just bought an in-house nurse service.
My grandpa isn't the most emotional person. He doesn't show affection. But for my grandma, it seems there was no way he would ever let her go without being the one to take care of her for years. Cut her food, feed her, clean her, take her to the bathroom. It was truly beautiful all he did for her.
As to a comment below, expectations in a relationship are healthy. You go into a relationship with someone based on the things about them. Though, you don't choose a cowboy expecting them to be a city boy.
But you choose someone like you, set up guidelines and expectations, and talk and communicate throughout the relationship. You bend and be flexible for the other, you love them and respect there different ideas.
You stay youself, and share yourself.
That's what I'm realizing more and more too. So I guess relationships are bound to change someone in some way; either for the best or the worst. That's why finding the right person to get in a relationship with in the first place is so important.
Hey Reez!
Is this Reez from the Cabernet account?
I "think" I love my partner unconditionally... part of the reason for that is that I trust her. We've been together for 15 years now, and we're both confident that we make each other happier than any other person could... if someone else was better for her, I love her enough to want that change for her. I know her well enough to know she isn't a monster or a secret serial killer... we both know at some point we'll cause each other grief, but that's okay, its why we try and enjoy the here and now while everything is cool.
I love family and friends, but it always feels different.... like there's a common understanding that they'll always come 2nd.
Not sure if that helps or not, but it's possibly the most interesting question.
Hey @aussieninja! Yes, it's @cabernet. I made a different account for posting random short things on zappl. Also found that my nickname "reez" was available so really wanted that username for myself :D
This kind of answers my question I think. Trusting her and understanding that if she were to not be in your life anymore, you won't be depressed or devastate. I mean, maybe you will be but you will be able to think about it logically.
Maybe, in this monogamous society, we have evolved to want to be in relationships with some level of expectations: expectations like staying healthy, staying in shape, having a job so both can support the family, both wanting to have kids, staying committed to each other, etc.
So, if we've committed ourselves to one and only one person, maybe it is ok to have some expectations? Not sure.. But worth thinking about!
Awesome! I was so hoping it was you! That's so exciting!
No, obviously I'd be sad if she wasn't in my life, but I honestly do think that I'd be happy for her if she was with someone that made her happier than I could. We never wanted to get married because we didn't like what that did to people's relationships... people just kind of stop trying or putting effort into their SO. We wanted a situation where if we needed to walk away because it wasn't working then we could... and both knowing that made sure we put the effort in. Relationships are hard, real hard, and I don't think they're for everyone... but I understand how lucky we are to fundamentally agree on so many things.
We ended up getting married, it made our move to the US much easier, but we still treat the relationship the same.
I'm honestly not sure we should be commit to one person forever without restrictions. You wouldn't agree to that deal in any other situation in life... things change, people change, situations change... and I think we should be able to adjust with those changes. Lots of older men just become grumpy with age and make everyone around them miserable... should they be in a relationship because they were awesome 30 years earlier? It's a tough one to answer...
I think it's absolutely okay to have expectations...
This is so true. Even when dating, people give up on certain things. One thing I've heard multiple guy friends say is "I don't work out once I'm in a relationship. I already have someone, why do I need to be super fit anymore?" This angers me.
There's many reasons someone likes you and maybe eventually loves you and the way you look definitely plays a big role in the first stage: liking someone. It is true that beauty on the inside matters immensely but outside beauty - the physical beauty - no matter how much we deny it, is very important as well!
So, I don't like the idea of my Boyfriend or my Husband giving up on looking physically good once in a relationship. What if this giving up turns into giving up on emotional attractiveness and/or intellectual attractiveness as well? It IS a possibility right?
When you said:
it made sense to me why some people don't want to get married. I like how you explained that so simply. I'm loving this conversation!
Another account to follow. :)
I think unconditional love is only possible with animals
Haha thank you @boontjie! :)
And hmm, maybe being intellectual and having the ability to get what we want is why humans set up conditions while animals just go with the flow haha
You got an upvote from a psychologist! as to unconditional love, i think it is highly overrated.
Thank you @authorfriendly!
Overrated as in the feeling of being in love is overrated? The idea of having someone is overrated? The idea of "unconditional love" is overrated because you think it shouldn't matter? Do you mind explaining?