The Birchmark Family Awards - Susan Wojcicki Style

Hi guys,
I don't know if you have seen this yet or not, but Susan Wojcicki from YouTube was awarded an award for free expression. This is something you would only expect in satire, as the amount of censorship and "advertiser friendly" crap on YouTube has increased in the time she has been in charge. Given YouTube sponsored the awards, it also very much sounds like YouTube essentially awarded her the award so she essentially awarded herself with a Free Expression award. I decided to do some family awards in the same vein.

Here are the Birchmark Family Awards - Susan Wojcicki Style:

MY AWARD - Best at regulating and sustaining the appropriate amount of focus

MY PARTNER'S AWARD - Best at not hating humanity

CADBURY'S AWARD - Best at having infrequent, nice smelling farts

RATTATA'S AWARD - Best at grabbing food instead of trying to grab thumbs before the food is offered

PINKAMENA'S AWARD - Best at grooming Rattata only the appropriate amount (and never leaving bald patches from overgrooming)