A Walk into an Open Relationship

I am sitting here with tea and listening to an experimental record. Something odd but soothing.

I want to share something different that has happened to me recently. I have been in a relationship for over two years with a girl I met on a dating site. The relationship started out great, lots of fire and sparks, fun and joy. Over about the past 8 months, it faded into routine same dance movements and eventually into a place of stagnant. We tried to spark it in all kinds of ways. We found ourselves then back to where we were. You cant force letting go it has to just happen.

So, after some talking, she informed me that she really has never "played the field". She went from a 15 year marriage to me. I have experienced a lot of that and enjoyed it immensely.

So, we communicated. We sat facing each other, holding hands and talking about the energy that was appearing between us. This is how we handled things always. It works great.

Right after we discussed opening up the relationship, we found ourselves talking and laughing and connecting in a very light fun manner. ahhh... something was shifting!

A day later, she was on Tinder. So was I. A day and one hour later she found a guy. I was still swiping, and wondering if my skateboard needed new bearings.

(Photo by Renee Fisher on Unsplash)

Finally came the moment where she had a date. Her first date. The chatting before the date, the txt and the photos.. all came flying in and she shared them with me. The more she shared, the more I wanted to ravage her. She responded very well to this. Our sex life and passion went through the roof, just with the thought of her dating, and the joy of another man complimenting her.

The day of the date, I was playing music she was to meet him for coffee and see where it goes. She was nervous and excited. I noticed my anticipation was high, and anxiety, horrible thoughts appeared in my head about loss, yet mostly there was a primal " I have to take you" energy appearing.

Her date was a coffee a talk and booom... a hook up. It was fast and hard. Something new for her. (ps - we bought condoms the night before together)

I told her txt me when done. Two hours after it started I got the txt " he is gone". ahhhhhh....

I drove like a bat out of hell to her home. When she opened the door?? Her hair was amazing, her face flush, her body radiating. We hugged and kissed and embraced each other like new lovers. She shared her story.. " I missed you, I really love you"

We went to dinner, and as it seeped in she came closer and close to me, deeper and deeper. That night was amazing and fun.

She never saw the guy again, he was a hookup and she didn't like the raw coldness of it. He still tries to meet up with her, but she wants no parts.

Since then, we have been talking and are going to see other people and hold our sacred ground. The trust I feel and security in what we have is strong.

Here are some points I want to bullet out about open relationships:

• the sex with your partner becomes 10x better
• the deep connection goes deeper, communication becomes a tool to connect
• the freedom and thought of never losing them is wonderful, because there is pure truth always, vs cheating and lying
• others not experiencing this never understand and don't like hearing about it

wait... let me go into that last point a bit. So.. after we opened up the relationship, i was so happy in love again I wanted to tell all my friend. So I did. The response I got from most of them was not warming at all. There was also no curiosity. You're on your own on this one.

• the open relationship also opens your energy to a truer you.. a deeper you.
• you realize that you have been living life according to a story " the way it ought to be" vs living with what is there
• jealousy is different, its not as intense as with mono, its more open a lighter emotion
• as a couple you talk and talk and talk and connect so much more, its a beautiful thing
• you do get to kiss others, and then bring that energy back to your sacred relationship ( she actually had better kisses after her date)
• no secrets, no lying, purely open and real

These are just some of the experiences I have seen so far. Its the beginning of a journey.