The Meeting

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Meanwhile at a support group meeting...

Sea: Hi Everyone

Everyone: Hi Sea.

Land: This is a bold step for you, Sea. We are so happy to see you're opening up.

Sea: Thank you, land. I watched you come out of your own, for someone who was beneath, so I figured I'll give this thing a trial.

(Applause from others, Land fakes a smile.)

Sea: I am here because I am a killer and I cannot resist the urge to kill.

(There is murmuring in the room.)

Sea: Okay that came out wrong. What I am trying to say is that I revel in taking lives. I jerk off to the bodies I leave in the wake of the moments I'm high on Tsunami.

(The murmuring gets louder.)

Sea: Are you judging me?! Is that what you people do around here?!

Diamond: Of course not. We all have done things we are not proud of, but we don't go about saying it with much pride.

Sea: You're one to talk, blood diamond. Massacres have been carried out because of you. You have instigated wars so don't tell me about fossils in corners of beds!

Gold: Who does this guy think he is?

Sea: Now you, shut it! Because the kid, land, has been able to produce offsprings like you doesn't mean I shouldn't remind you once upon a time, you were playing in my compound running naked so sit down and be humble! What happened to respect your elders or male superiors?!

Gold: This is why I say all males are scums of the earth!

(There is a great commotion as elements fly at each others throat. Land bangs the table, resulting in tremors... Silence.)

Land: Thank you, guys. (to Sea) I think you should share your story another day.

Sea: I think not.

Land: You have no jurisdiction here. This is my house and I decide the rules.

Sea: I can always take over your house, so watch how you speak to me, boy.

(Someone bursts into uncontrollable laughter. The duo turn to him in surprise.)

Land: What's funny, Forest?

Forest: Interesting... Interesting... I think you two should get married or go outside with your hard ons to continue your display of manhood. (to Land) Let him share, we're bonded here by our loathing of man., right?

(Land reluctantly gives in.)

Sea: Thank you, whatever your name is.

Forest: Forest.

Sea: I know. Just don't care.

Forest: I like this guy!

Sea: Well I didn't always use to kill. I was young and dumb once. My home was a peaceful one, though there were internal squabbles between my tenants but we always found a way to make everyone happy — at least some of them. Then man came.. (wipes face with handkerchief) That bastard!

Forest: Are you Bipolar?

Sea: (ignoring Forest) They started kidnapping my tenants and children. They never returned. Soon, some of my tenants became afraid and the more they got, the more unstable they became. It is no longer peaceful down there.

Land: Damn.

Sea: Soon man was forcing me to be his horse. He ride me to places, even when I wasn't feeling up to it. Man didn't stop there. He desecrated my sacred cemeteries for fuel. He continually abuse, rape, kidnap... (breaks into an episode of sobbing)

Diamond: Awwwwww I feel your pain.

Sea: Really, how could you? Man fawns over you. He gives one of you to his mate and she purrs like a cat. So how could seriously feel my pain?!

Gold: Must you always be a Jerk?

Sea: it's my best quality, now can I finish my story without y'all butting in?