No More Pretending I Don't Love You

I'll pretend that I don't love you
For a moment my dreams will come true
And the thought of you won't even come through
I'll just start my life brand new
I'll play around with all the boys
And find myself some fun toys
It will be easy to find joy
No more acting coy
Your name won't mean a thing to my head
I'll be able to sleep alone in my bed
Forgetting every single word you said
To my heart you will be completely dead
The feeling of your love won't even exist
Your kiss will mean nothing to these lips
No good times for me to reminisce
I'll make my own moments of pure bliss!
All of my days will be so bright
With a heart open to love's light
Till I'm ready for more than just one night
To complete my lonely life
And when I find someone beyond my imagination
That's when my heart will just cave in
Crushed by bricks of devastation
And my happiness will be taken
I will end up back at the start
With tears in my eyes and a broken heart
Because I hate that we are apart
So next time I've got to be smart
Sure you've doused this brain with confusion
But it doesn't mean that I can't use it
And my heart best believe you've bruised it
But doesn't mean I won't get through this
All I must do is realize what is real
That I must allow myself time to heal
Take as long as I need until
I'm ready for the love I long to feel
I've got to let go of this regretting
Because there's no use in just pretending
Crying over your ass is so upsetting
But it will help me really get to where I'm heading
Then my heart will be open to accept
Any piece of affection that I may get
And all the heartache that I have left
Will be swept and put to rest
And as my worries start to fade
To give my love I won't be afraid
My sense of self can surely be saved
I just have to find a way to be brave