Write everyday Day #1

My wonderful sister introduced me to Steemit and I'm feeling like it could be a great place to share what I enjoy. On that note, this is my attempt to write something everyday. I haven't written anything substantial in years and I need to start up again. On the mental side writing everyday, no matter what you are writing about, is great practice. On the spiritual side it has always come with a profound release for me. This is a great excuse to stop letting the distractions stop me.
Please forgive any spelling mistakes, I am absurdly bad at it.
The following is a work of fiction, any resemblance to real people is purely coincidence.

    So they say to write what you know and that's what I'm going to do. It makes an incredible amount of sense really, since you can't write what you don't know. If you did that you'd end up with a huge block of nothing, or gibberish, or the square root of negative one, or something ludicrous like that. So I guess I'll write what I know.

    I am a superhero. It's true. I really am. A one hundred percent certified, card carrying, secret identity having, villain ass kicking hero. Well, not so much on the villain ass kicking, or the "secret" part of my identity, and they don't actually pass out cards. But I am certified. I keep my authentication papers tucked into the inside pockets of my trench. As for the other things? Well... I'm working on it.

    Villains are a pain in the ass. So are secret identities. I don't know how those other guys do it. How do they change their clothes without anyone seeing them? There are cameras everywhere ya know? And the villains! Bunch of crazy, super powered, egotistically, sociopathic psychopaths. If you want to take one of them on, you have to know what you're doing. That's something else I'm lacking.

    Where do you go to learn how to fight with super powers when all the super heroes have secret identities? Do they meet up to practice? Where? How do you get a hold of them? Is there some sort of entrance test? I googled it and found nothing. There was a promising looking group once, with their own professional looking website, but they were just a bunch of fan-kids hoping for a quick autograph. Not mine, obviously.

    I was going to learn kung fu, because I had found a coupon, but when they told me how much it would be for lessons I had to walk away. You don't make much money when you're a super hero, especially if you're an amateur one who hasn't actually heroed yet. So for now I'm a customer service rep, working in a cube farm by day and keeping the mean streets of my city safe by night. And by safe I mean safe from me, a bumbling hero who can't fight or stay secret. One day though, one day, those villains will tremble at the sound of my name. Which is another thing I don't have...

_{Page Dividers by @odrau}