Consejos on the water; a woman’s perspective

[source] https://coolerlifestyle.com/features/female-surfers-of-new-york-city.html

Women in the water at a surf spot depending on where you go is a bit of a rarity. There is usually a 10/1 ratio men to women. I will say I have been given a lot of grace over time to learn with out the harassment that many of the men that learn how to surf have to go through. Which, depending on where you go if you mess up someone’s wave (and you will when learning) and you are a dude you could possibly end up getting into a fight. This has never been the case for me as a woman. This is generally frowned upon behavior towards women on the water.

Unfortunately there also seems to be a culture of consejos or advice giving to women on the water. Sometimes the advice could be welcomed, but often times it is given in a very demeaning way.

Today for example I asked someone on the water how the wave was for them I said “how did it go for you”, and then the person replied a short bit about his wave then started rattling off all the things that I could do to improve my surfing. As it turns out this person Mansplaining to me was morbidly obese and a much lower level surfer than me, which is a great example because consejos typically don’t come from surfers who actually have skills. They come from douch-bag, ego-filled, insecure men. In this instance he was so un-fit to give advice and to call himself an athlete that he was actually out of breath just talking with me. I thought as he was speaking that he should go ahead and smoke another cigarette (I saw him smoking before paddling out) and go ahead and have a heart attack today because it’s bound to happen anytime.

I should not let this really get to me and in fact I mostly let it go and just paddled away in the moment.
The thing is I am what I am, no matter what anyone says about me or to me. I am solid in myself. Thats the point.

In surfing, as women, we should be able to arrive in the water just as any man and start with a place of respect from those around us. Once we mess up any waves or make a beginners mistake one can then identify us as a human that could use advice. This is how men in the line up are treated. They start with respect man to man, then if they screw up they lose it.

As a woman on the water I am automatically disrespected, and the men around me give un-invited and un-warranted advice. I think this culture needs to change on and off the water.