The Most Bizarre Conspiracy Website I've Ever Visited

sherryshriner.com is a visually unappealing conspiracy website ran by a fifty-year-old woman named Sherry Shriner. Mrs. Shriner is married, has (at least)four children, and is either mentally unstable or the one of the greatest parodists this world will ever know.   

It’s a bizarre Christian doomsday site that claims aliens are fallen angels, the apostle Paul is a lying heretic, the KJV bible has been manipulated countless times but is the most reliable translation available, Yahushua is the true Son of God and that Jesus guy the KJV talks about is actually Satan, and so much more. So much, in fact, that if the site didn’t make my eyes bleed I’d probably feel inclined to stay on it for more than ten minutes at a time. Quick tip for aspiring web designers: Dark backgrounds with bright neon fonts are a no-no.

The ever humble Sherry believes that Satan’s generals have been coming after her and attempting to kill her ever since she was a wee little child. This is because Satan knew she was going to do great things for God and show the world the truth. She’s also a descendant of David; she knows this because God told her so. Unfortunately for her, God told ME that’s she’s a lying whore and must be executed. Sorry, Sherry.

God also told me that anyone who doesn’t upvote every single one of my posts is going to Hell. And not that “separation from God” Hell the LIE-bur-uhls like to talk about, but the real Hell with maggots and torture devices and horned guys poking you with pitchforks. Get to votin’, sinners!

Unsurprisingly, Sherry is a vicious antisemite. She believes that the serpent in the Garden of Eden mated with Eve, and Cain was their offspring. Cain’s bloodline is referred to as the Serpent Seedline. Anyone who is part of the Seedline is literally a descendant of Satan. Seedliners include the “fake” Jews governing Israel, Barack Obama, Paul/Saul, and oddly enough, Adolph Hitler—supposedly, Hitler’s true goal was to exterminate the “real” Jews for the glory of Satan or something.

You’re going to be hearing a lot about Satan on this website, by the way. Just about everything Sherry disagrees with is Satanism. Which, following her convoluted logic, does make some semblance of sense: since God hates the things of this world and Satan is the enemy of God, anything that Sherry—I mean, God doesn’t like is Satanism.

While Satanism is everywhere, actually stumbling upon Satan or one of his cohorts is significantly less likely, but exponentially more dangerous. The solution? Orgone Blasters!

What’s an Orgone Blaster, you ask? It’s a… something… made of Orgone, which is also… something… that can apparently make UFOs crash and destroy aliens(fallen angels). It also neutralizes the effects of chemtrails and ELF towers(or, as sane people like to call them, contrails and phone towers). It’s available at the low, low price of only $6 per three-ounce blaster(minimum order of 12, but you get an entire two bucks off for ordering that many)! 

I will have to give Sherry a few points for having a page that tells you how to make a blaster yourself, and at no point on the page does she try to dissuade you from doing so(so we're at, what, negative three-thousand and forty-seven points?). According to the directions, Orgone is made out of clear quartz crystals, metal shavings, copper wire, and resin. Sounds like it’d kill an alien pretty well. Supposedly, placing a blaster in strategic places in your house and car can lower gas and utility expenses, because quartz crystals.

There’s a lot more to the site and Sherry’s beliefs, not to mention her interactions with other crackpots(the little feud between her and Pamela Schuffert is fairly amusing), but I think I’ll end with that. If you find what I’ve written here interesting, you should definitely check out her sites; if not, then I suppose you should just go on your merry way or whatever.