The voice in my head

I was 13years old when I attempted suicide for the first time. I had been duped by some unscrupulous men. Then dumped in an area i didn't know. I was brought home by some fire fighters in the area who saw me wandering around crying.
On getting home;my mother told me that I shouldn't have come home and it would have been better if I died.
I not only got the beating of my life I was also starved.
Then the voices in my head came alive. I figured i might as well die than continue suffering at my mother's hand. I was doubting she was my mother anyways as she hadn't been showing any kind of love.
I took detergent and kerosene late in the night. With the hope of waking up in the next life.
Unfortunately for me then,I didn't die. Though I could easily have.I pooped my stomach out! I reeked of kerosene for weeks.
I later got to know kerosene nullified the effects of the detergent..or something.