Dear midwesterners:

I owe you all an apology. One of the reasons I mock the Midwest (and will never move back) is because it’s packed full of midwits. As a culture, there is no conspiracy theory so nonsensical that 50%+ of midwesterners won’t believe it. I know that hurts the feelings of a few of you that live there, but I also know that quite a few others of you that live there and are reading this are nodding your heads in agreement.

I live in California now.

I have one neighbor who thinks COVID-19 vaccines cause cancer and has serious doubts that humans have walked on the moon, another neighbor that wants me to join forces with Moms for Liberty, and a third that is currently reposting Q-anon “rabbit hole” nonsense from a prominent flat earther and yesterday was promulgating a meme suggesting that people from Haiti are consuming our nation’s cats. And these are people I personally know!

Half of the American populace has lost whatever tenuous grasp on reality that it may have once had.