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My Story

I was 10 years old when I married a boy from
my village. Where I come from it is tradition to
marry your children early. People believe that
the younger a girl marries, the more likely she
will be a virgin, and the better the marriage will
be.
I had no say in who, when or whether I wanted
to marry. When I found out that my parents had
arranged for me to marry, I was terrified. I had
no idea what marriage meant or what having
children entailed. I was just a girl who enjoyed
going to school and playing with my friends.
Nothing could have prepared me for what was
to come.

A 13-YEAR-OLD WIDOW

WITH A ONE-MONTH-OLD
BABY
Becoming a wife so young caused me a lot of
pain and sorrow. At 13, I was a mother in an
unhappy marriage, juggling childcare with other
domestic chores and walking miles to find food
and water.
Only a month after my first baby was born, his
father was killed in the Ethiopian civil war and I
became a widow. I was just 13, with no
husband, no income or education and a child to
care for. All I had was my mother for moral
support.
When I turned 15, I was trafficked to Egypt to
work as unpaid domestic servant. After one
year I was trafficked to London to work as a
domestic servant for the same family. They
kept my passport, locked me in the house and
left me without food or money whenever they
went abroad.
I escaped and met someone who took me to
the police. I was later referred to the
immigration department where I applied for
asylum. At first, immigration service tried to
place me in a foster family, but I couldn’t bear
the thought of moving into the home of
strangers again. I refused; I wanted my
independence.
And more than anything else, I wanted to
study.

PURSUING AN EDUCATION

AFTER CHILD MARRIAGE
Education is a powerful tool for change, no
matter your age. It helps you define who you
are; it empowers you to rise above the hurdles
life has placed in front of you.
I had missed out on education but I was
determined not to let that define me.
I had missed out on education but
I was determined not to let that
define me
Alemtsahye Gebrekidan
After arriving to the UK, I started attending my
first English classes. I was apprehensive but
eager to learn. I can’t describe the exhilarating
feeling of finally being able to read and write!
It would be several decades before I finished
my education, however, and it was nearly
impossible for me to secure a job during that
time. I lacked the confidence, skills and
experience employers wanted, all because I
had been forced into marriage as a child.

THE WAY FORWARD:

EDUCATING CHILD BRIDES
LIKE ME
Still, education empowered me to realise my
dream: to start my own organisation and
support women and girls in the UK hurt by child
marriage.
When it comes to culturally ingrained practices
like child marriage, the act of speaking out can
make a huge difference. That’s why I created
the Former Child Wives Foundation: to let
victims of child marriage know they weren’t
alone.
I tell former child wives to come out and speak
up. “There is no shame in being married as a
child” I say, “It was never your choice”. Most
of these women have missed out on everything
in life; all they know is fear, violence and
suffering.
To help them start anew, we give these women
advice and support to raise their confidence
and enable them to identify and deal with
problems that affect them. Communications
skills, for example, are key to access vital
services like health, housing in their
communities. And even basic writing skills can
boost their chances of earning a stable income.
The experience of an early marriage always
stays with you. I left Ethiopia and moved to the
UK, but I can never leave behind the social,
health and economic consequences of child
marriage.
After years of separation, I finally went to
Ethiopia and met my son. When we talk about
his future, I often tell him “Don’t even think
about marrying your children!” and I know he
won’t. He knows all too well the price they
would pay.
My hope now is to continue giving women and
girls hope, support and the strength to turn
their back on child marriage too.
Source

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