RE: That Feeling of Bone Weariness with Life... (Ulog no. 5)
Thanks for the thoughtful comment, Glen! And congratulations on using "Vicissitudes" in a sentence, and actually knowing what it means. That's pretty cool!
Life goes a lot in cycles, I think... some 20 years ago, I was caught in a similar loop where it just felt like no matter what choice I made — even a completely random one — the outcome was inevitably subpar. And that just grinds you down, after a while.
Of course, there's also the fact that I an keenly aware that "I am not 29 anymore!" and so the same things I once handled with grace are now more of a grind. And yet... they still must be attended to.
As I was saying to @janton, the past 18 months or so have been a particularly trying time, where the setbacks seem to have outnumbered the triumphs by a rather significant margin. This will of course turn around at some point... but it feels endless when you are sitting in the middle of it!
Yes, they do. I'm in the middle of one going on six years now. Before that, the few I did have never came close to lasting this long. I've never felt like I was flying so blind on the decision making front as I have throughout most of this period. Some good has come out of it, though, and I'm still alive, still kicking, and still ornery enough to keep going.
I hear you about the "not being 29" part, too. Guess that's what happens when you venture into middle age. I guess it starts way before that, but you're still able to convince yourself your body and mind and gumption might have some mileage on them now, but you can still go out and run with the young bucks. Yeah, right. Maybe for a little bit, enough to keep them guessing, but really, the pasture they've been trying to retire you too for the past 10 years at least is starting to look awfully good.
Oh. Wait. Was this about me or you? :) Anyway. Vicissitudes, man. It's all about the vicissitudes. :)