It's not easy being in the position you are in, but you are not the only one who has been there (even though it feels like it!). If you both are willing to seek help to understand the real issues (they aren't always obvious!) and work through the tough times, it would be a Good Thing for all concerned! Remember that it's rarely a one-sided issue. We have to take a hard look at ourselves as well (I've been there and [eventually] saw how I was contributing to the problems). It's not that we are 'bad', but sometimes we are influenced by factors that we aren't even aware of. When we can see things more clearly, it is easier to deal with the real issues. We had our issues together (and I was a significant contributor in this case!), but once I started learning more about myself, I was able to be a better partner to my wife. We are doing much better now - largely because of how patient she was with me as I worked on my issues (and she did find some of her own as well).
We all have issues! It's how we deal with them that matters.
Hand in there! There is always hope...