Recap
Bogem-kun was quite early today i'd say
Where are we at ?
Nowhere ...
Where are we going ?
Nowhere ...
Where have we been ?
Physically not nearly as much as we'd like. Spend a whole trying to get out of a place and end up stuck in the middle of it with everyone going "just let it go!"
I CANT IM STUCK IN THE MIDDLE OF IT, if i pole-vault as hard as i can i STILL land in it, its all around me , since i was 15 and so many times
getting out of here, then not far enough, out of belgium then not far enough, out of europe, THE OTHER SIDE OF THE PLANET since proxima centauri,
even Mars,
is out of reach .
Not much of a nationalist but i wonder : if you're not forced to live in Flanders then how can you be against it if you do ?
I wonder many things about humans , since the kid stood back against the wall in kindergarten observing them. But i no longer do
Humans are easy, like dirty glass, mundanes cant lie (thats probably why the internet is so popular) and whats on the inside is visible if not always as clear.
Watashi-wa watashi da
not much of a nazi either
not much of a hippie
not left
not right
not even in the middle, just
out there
Best vantage point, living in the third person i can actually introspect down to the level that uses no language a lot of the time. I live between myself and my brain, therefor i can intercept many things mundanes can not.
I bet i'm on a high horse again right now ?
You bet too much on that same one, i dont even know why ? Is it one of those things they told you and
THATS JUST HOW ITS DONE ?
never think
thought is the enemy of progress you might stand out, better to point at the witch first so you don't get burned.
Soviet democracy
Never had a loan in my life ... never had debt until they forced me into the street and someone else was gonna fix that for me, made it ten times worse, never had a car in my life
never wanted one
drove it twice ... once on a parking lot for lul and once on a highway at almost 180km/h with the driver on the pedal , my hands on the wheel and his on tinfoil chasing a drop of clear liquid, WHAT WAS THAT AGAIN ?
8 out of 9 lives used up im sure
60 jobs - mostly on the books , horeca and filth since 15 ... meat factories, tupperware, callcenters, deskjobs outdoor work, THE MINISTRY OF INFORMATION, tending 7day 24 hour bars during the 12 hour day shift, nurseries for the elderly changing diapers for 120kg demented woman
3 years on the street
about as many girlfriends i suppose, did all the decent drugs on the planet in my better years
had enough sex for 8 lifetimes
i dont need more
i dont need more girlfriends, its just more complications
i dont need more friends
i'll die alone, no one will be there to pick me up and
i dont care, i chose to stay alone , im not socially awkward i can start talking to anyone anywhere ive never seen before, i'm not verbally challenged
im a hazard with words although often linear brains seem to think i speak in tongues
Never paid insurance in my life other than health
Never fit in to this place i'll be stuck in until i drop dead, i'm incompatible
i'm allergic to bullshit
i am borderline autist, SOME THINGS SIMPLY WONT WORK, SOME THINGS SIMPLY CANT BE DONE
it doesnt make sense so WE say it doesnt because it doesnt so it cant
acquired personality disorder
constant defense against this place caused chronic fatigue
osteo-arthritis and subsequent chronic pain is probably genetically defined
introvert shy a+-grade kid HAD TO BE CURED from introvert
now decades later in the same room
WAS THAT REALLY WORTH IT ?
a country with 10 million humans and 8 layers of government where 40% is paid by the state is going to kill 300.000 defenseless guttertrash into gutter-poverty, homelesness or crime
the regulating top will take the rest
only money makes money
only the mayors cousin gets a chance
the only upside is the tipping point by 2050 - the fall of mankind, you need machines to mine and mines to maintain machines - its grade school mathematics but
politics needs charisma and connections, not smarts
lobby needs sales, not logic
THE UNIVERSE DEMANDS BALANCE AND IT WILL HAVE IT
you can't escape the master system
i can only regret decisions that have not been made for me so i dont have too many
and
even if as an agnostic polytheist
im not a buddhist, i believe
legacy will only keep you out of nirvana and drag you back to the pits of hell
(thats here : that place SO far away that you'll never see the heavens)
genetically programmed to last no more than 120 years in the best of circumstances
at the speed of light
you wont
...
hmmmmmmmmm
winter's coming everywhere
the math won't work so the system will collapse
segregation to keep the peasants down
THE ENEMY to keep them from revolting
in the end ?
in the end there will be balance
thats one certainty and
the only certainty in life
is death
DOZO
...
oo,
"hellsing ultimate" ... i still have those DVD's actually, surprisingly, even if today and from next year zero there's no money for movies or buying games but ...
technically speaking buying games has always been a courtesy since we never HAD TO since the 80s ...
i dont game much anymore, its mostly programming b/c that soothes the brain, no jippedee or co-pilot ... the gods wont like me anymore if i do that
Stuff like that ?
looking at the new batch - i fear Japan has fallen to the triffids as well ...
What about Steemit ?
i bet if i go for free legal advice and ask about crypto they'll answer "why dont you get a job in construction ?" and im like "what does that ahve to do with my question" and they like "why don't you get a job in construction" and i make haste because i fear they're gonna spew triffid spores in my face or snatch my body
I dont like having everything in one wallet but by 2027 all wallets need a name so having multiple accounts is a hassle, even if it worth ZIT anymore, ... it would take a battle of prestige between musk and besos to see who has the most steem to bring this thing to a level where i can actually have an idea of a future that doesnt live in a cardboard box atm
... is this complaining ?
i dont think so, its more like a declaration of "you killed the last give-a-fuck long ago" but you seem to EXPECT THINGS ?
i often wonder how that works in this head of yours
this world that doesn't exist anywhere in reality
the master controller on top of it, whose thoughts bend the laws of physics and its written word have the universe snap in place according to its will
without RE-action ...
i dont expect anything anymore
but to see the cat happy ... which is
i wasnt gonnna but since they asked and once we met i couldnt possibly not
and my little brother is gudder than he ever was now so until his expiry date i'll see that and then
i'd like to last long enough to see if the tipping point is right (well all laws of nature say it is ...)
and to see the humans fall into this sinkhole which
atm is only big enough to swallow a house here and there but
under the weight of pride and saving face
seems to be growing fast
and we wont see the worst of it
sucks to be 20 in 2020
i wonder
uncle Xi ?
is this "a pessimistic post" or "a realistic assessment" ? i remember dark vlad giving a glimpse of his inner brain for just one moment in a speech when he said "there's nothing on the horizon but more trouble" (roughly translated) , sounded like some russian proverb and philosophy, standard way of thinking
they do seem to get along quite nicely and
look at the world ?
who has the REAL power today ?
if not BRICS ?
... ANYWAY ....
before i get charges of treason or something lol
i think im gonna
i have no idea, i cant even focus on programming at night anymore
not cognitive, its
this place, made of kryptonite for my virtual superman
it drained me
and it flattens me
mentally
while my body keeps disintegrating
I JUST CANT SEEM TO BE VERY SMILEY ABOUT IT FOR SOME REASON
but im not depressed
hope is one of the gates to hell, so have none : stick to the facts
BUT I DONT DESPAIR EITHER
i dont fear or panic
no euphoria
no dopamine
... hope i dont get parkinsons at 60 like my cousin ... tsch...