That's What She Said: The Use of Dialogue Tags

in #tinyteaches7 years ago (edited)

One of the biggest challenges in writing fiction, in my opinion, is the interaction of our characters. How do we portray them? They need to come alive for the reader. They need to be believable. Dialogue is a big part of that. We can use conversations between people to learn more about them, and about the world they live in.


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So Let’s Talk.

“Today, I’d like to talk to you about the use of dialogue tags,” Tiny said quietly.

This is how I learned to format dialogue in school. I imagine many of you learned it that way. It’s not wrong. But does that make it right?
When you format your dialogue like this, it becomes a missed opportunity. Instead of simply clarifying that Tiny is the speaker, I could have told you so much more about Tiny. I could show you the body language that accompanies her speech. I could show you what she’s doing, or how she looked.

Tiny stopped pacing back and forth in front of the blackboard. “Today, I’d like to talk to you about the use of dialogue tags.” She pushed up the glasses that had slipped down her nose, turned to the blackboard and picked up a piece of chalk.

The second example, sans dialogue tags, gives us more background information, without allowing the backstory to dominate the prose. It’s all about what Tiny does and says. But it tells us we’re in a classroom. It tells us Tiny wears glasses and they sometimes slide down her nose.

There is another difference between the two. The first example tells us something is said. Something that happens. It raises the question of who is telling us about these events. Who is the narrator?

The presence of a narrator reminds us of one thing: the fact that it’s just a story. We interact with the narrator instead of the characters. It places more distance between us and the action--the people we’re reading about.

So basically, when we resort to dialogue tags, we lose an opportunity to do so much more.
We lose the opportunity to provide a setting in which the dialogue occurs and characterisation of the speakers. And we lose an opportunity to put our readers right in the middle of the action.

But… But… Everyone Uses Dialogue Tags. I’ve Seen It In Books.

Well. Just because other people use them, do you feel you should too? I’ll refer you to the rule I provided in my previous article: Your ass better be famous already.

But… But… I Need My Dialogue Tags!

I bet you don’t. 99.5 percent of the dialogue tags I see are unnecessary. They’re often easier. I’ll admit that much. It’s going to be harder to think about who does what and who is standing
where and to work that into your prose. But this offers the reader so much more. It’s worth every bit of effort. I promise.

Come On, Tiny. What if I Really, Really Need Dialogue Tags?

There are some rare occasions where you do need them. I’ll give you that much. I found one example of it in the Fantasy series posted by my friend @johnkingwriter recently, called Before The Dawn.

The protagonist in his story is a young blind girl. Especially when writing in Deep POV, you want your prose to reflect what your POV character thinks, sees and does. That’s what goes into the beats you’ll surround your dialogue lines with. But what do you do when your character doesn’t see anything for you to show?

This would be one of the places where the dreaded dialogue tag has a place.

“You know who. The cursed old bitch,” Granton chimed in. He must have come straight from work. The smell of sea and fish clung to him.

However. Even then, the absolute necessity of the dialogue tag in this instance is up for debate. We, pitiful humans, often rely heavily on our vision, but there are five senses for us to utilise. Our character can taste, hear, smell and feel things too, and these too, can give amazingly vivid descriptions.

“Shh! Don’t say ‘er name.” A wet finger squeaking on polished wood as Denny made the sign of the cross on the ale-spattered table. “Don’t ever say ‘er name. Gives ‘er more power, it does.”

I pulled this out of context just a bit, but the same author refrained from using a dialogue, and instead he added a beat to break up the character’s dialogue line, and he worked a beautiful and very vivid auditory detail into it that really made the scene come alive for me. It shows me who is speaking, and it even tells me that our friend Denny is rather superstitious.

As they passed the Captain’s Rest, the reek of stale beer and tobacco smoke wafted into their path. Her father paused and squeezed her hand, his thick calluses digging into her palm. “I fancy an ale. Would you like some apple juice?”

This time, we’re provided with tactile and olfactory impressions to bring us into the scene. No visuals. But equally powerful. And do we miss those dialogue tags?

We do not.

A dear friend of mine would probably suggest we burn them with fire to make sure they don’t come back.

Fine. I Get The Point. But I Really, Really Need Them!

In that case, you had better get it right.

Rule Number One: Less Is More

Use them only when you can’t avoid them. Using them in one strategic place in your story or chapter is not the same as dropping them everywhere you can.

Rule Number Two: KISS or Keep It Simple, Stupid

Try to avoid going on an endless quest for alternatives to “Tiny said.” If I did my job right, you won’t be using enough dialogue tags to get bored with them anyway. Why? An endless parade of “Tiny giggled,” “Tiny chortled,” and “Tiny intoned,” distracts the reader. Honestly? It’s annoying. Said, however, is almost invisible. Readers are so used to seeing “Tiny said,” that they might skim past it without noticing too much.

You might get away with some variations. After all. Tiny doesn’t just say things. Sometimes she asks a question. Sometimes she whispers. If her husband gets on her nerve she might yell. Knowing Tiny, this won’t happen too often, but she may even agree with someone from time to time.

These variations, however, are to be used with even more caution than the dialogue tag itself. Like nutmeg, they work best in small doses.

Rule Number Three: Punctuation Matters. Period.

If you’ve read the other posts in this series, you’ll probably recognise this title. I know. But it’s still true, goddamnit!

If you’re going to use those pesky dialogue tags, at least use them correctly.

When you’re using descriptive sentences or action from a character to attribute the dialogue line, you use a period.

Tiny looked at her pupils over the rim of her glasses. “I forgot what I was supposed to talk about. Oh, right! Dialogue tags!”

When your tag comes before the spoken sentence, it should be followed by a comma.

Neg said, “I don’t understand these ridiculous rules.”

When your dialogue tag comes after the spoken sentence, you punctuate that with a comma or another punctuation mark, within the quotes, and then you continue the sentence.

“Let’s have some more examples,” she said.

When your dialogue tag comes in the middle of the spoken sentence, you have the option of breaking with a period and beginning a new sentence.

“Wait!” another student shouted. “Are you sure we need more examples?”

Or you can use em dashes to allow the sentence to continue.

“Well”--said Tiny--“of course I’m sure. There’s still some room left on the blackboard.”

While it's a grammatically correct option, I'd advise you to use the em dash with caution. If you want the sentence to continue, you had better have a very good reason to interrupt it in the first place. The only reason I can think of, is when your character begins some sort of action in the middle of a spoken sentence, and it's absolutely vital to the story that the reader realises this. But let's be honest here. How often is that likely to happen? Probably about as likely as needing the dialogue tags in the first place. Right?

And remember: When you punctuate your dialogue line with exclamation marks or question marks, and place a dialogue tag behind it, the tag is still part of the sentence and it should begin with a lowercase letter.

“Well, that’s all for today!” she said as she wiped the blackboard.

Stay tuned for the next lesson!

Hugs

Tiny


The entire TinyTeaches Series can be found on my non-fiction Steemshelf. If you have a question you’d like to see answered, please don’t hesitate to leave it in a comment on one of my posts. I’ll do my best to adress your question as soon as I can.

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The Writer’s Block is a home to writers from every corner of the world, and from every discipline that involves the written word. I consider myself lucky to have found this amazing community. Not only have I found help, support and encouragement there, but I’ve found people who feel the same way I do about writing. I’ve found a second family there. Do you write? Would you love to be a part of a community that can help you learn and improve your writing skill? Our door is always open for kindred spirits. Come and pay us a visit by pointing your pointy thingy at the animation below and clicking.





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Yep, I agree dialogue tags should be used in moderation, but they definitely have a place.
Also, for the love of God, don't use an action instead of a dialogue tag. " "I am so fed up with this," she frowned" is really not possible. Also, people can't hiss words without the letter S (unless you are Wodehouse you won't get away with it).
Also: if you substitute action for dialogue tags, make sure the action and the piece of dialogue of the same person are together.
For example: John caressed Anna's cheek and smiled. "You are a beautiful woman." This is fine, but I have also seen this: John caressed Ana's cheek and smiled. "Don't touch me."
In the first instance it is John who is speaking, which you would expect given the action preceding it. In the second instance it is incorrectly Anna who is speaking. In the second instance, the dialogue sentence should be on its own line, not following the action.
Writing is trickier than it looks, folks!

I completely agree with your caution about action tags, @isabellelauren.

"I am so fed up with this," she frowned.
This is not correct use of an action tag.

She frowned. "I'm so fed up with this."
This option does work for me though.

Thank you for your comment. ;-)

Matching the action with the appropriate speaker is definitely essential also. It's one of those things we help people with a lot in the Fiction Workshop--making sure the speaker is clear enough. The main thing is, as Tiny made clear in her article, that actions are not dialogue tags and have to be formatted as sentences, not attached as tags.

This is the most elegant and informative discourse on speech tags I've ever read. You nailed it, Tiny! :-)

I was thinking of dressing the teacher up in one of those sexy secretary outfits, too. But I felt that would be going slightly overboard. :-D

For some reason I already imagined it that way.

Preach it!
This is such an informative piece, and I really hope the writers at the block read it and take it in. Especially homies (like myself) who were bottle fed on dialogue tags and need to get a taste for meat (or, ya know, something not animal.)

I just hope I didn't bore people to tears with this. ;-)
Thanks hun.

Nah, I think it was fine. Those were from the onion I was cutting :P
Absolutely no problem! Just keep doing you homie.

Thank you so much for your article! I found it very helpful. I always struggle with dialogue tags and when to use them. (And of course, when to leave them out!)

This is very helpful.. I learnt or two things about the use of tags. Thanks for sharing @tinypaleokitchen

You're welcome. The only reason I write these is to try and be helpful.
Thank you for your kind comment.

Tiny, I love your tone and the humor you inject here is just perfect. This is a great series and even though I don't always comment, I think everyone should read them.

Oh my goddess, Jon! Your comment, as always, means the world to me.

You just made me blush. Again! :-D

Stellar write up! This is something that must be seriously considered by anyone who writes.

Absolutely deserving of a resteem for visibility :)

Wow! Thank you!
blushes like an idiot

Thank you for this! It got me thinking of all my past writing and realizing I use dialogue tags way too much. I'm going to challenge myself to cut my use of them in half, at the very least.

I'm new to Steemit - now following you, and eager to see what else I can learn from Tiny! :)

Welcome to the blockchain! Are you a writer too? Always exciting to see new writers arrive.

What do you write? (Not that that I'm curious or anything...)

Dialogue tags and I have a difficult relationship. Avoiding them in the manner you describe can break pacing. Yet, that endless stream of boring tags otherwise distracts. Avoiding tags and descriptions altogether in two-person dialogue assumes the reader doesn't get lost. I know I do.

It's all frustrating.

I avoid dialogue except when needed. I prefer to attempt to describe the essence of a dialogue, rather than to state it. Then again, there's the "show don't tell" rule, which this tactic threatens to violate. This usually means I mix the two. There's some talking, then a description of why characaters take the positions they do, and then do some dialogue of the resolution.

With dialogue, often less is more.

Thanks for this post. I am clearly not alone in my suffering.

Exactly. Although I'd like to add, that less is more most often, not only with dialogue.

Could write several more paragraphs to show how much I agree... but, well. Less is more.

Well... Less is more is pretty much my motto. But we have to be careful to not allow dialogues to take place in a dark void. When we talk, there is so much more communicated than just words... Non-verbal communication is a big part of every exchange. That might be lost if we stick too closely to the less is more rule.

Beats and action can bog down a piece of dialogue, that's true. But they don't have to. It's all about getting the dosage just right.

It's a matter of practice. But I see you've found us at The Writers' Block. You'll find plenty of help there. ;-) Welcome to the family.

Thanks for a great article, Tiny. I am still learning.

We all are, Trishie!