Searching for... what ?

We are things ; well, in particular : human beings.

And the world is constituted of... exclusively, other things.
And among them : other human beings.

Things and human beings are what they are.
I mean, we don't change a rose into a car for instance.
We don't change a person into another person.

Yes, of course : we evolve.
Everything can evolve, or change, or turn into another version of itself.

To some extent, so.

But everything can't adapt to what things already are, or everybody can't adapt to how people already are.
And things and people with each other.

(such a mix, all of that)

So there's a search.
Searching for what or who is the most "made" for us, according to its or their present particularities.

But... what is the movement that leads us, with reliability, towards what we need ?
Is this desire ?
Is desire sufficient ?
Is desire a very very good guide ?

Or just a poor guide ?
A guide that would often makes us go to look for things or people that, ultimately, we would just have to find that we couldn't have them with us, or stay with us ?

That's a hard job to discover our way.
The way that brings us real (and durable) satisfactions and joys. Reals things and real people making us happy.

Especially when failures have been much more pleintiful than successes.
Which prompts us to doubt, and not really know anymore what we should do, what we should think, what could suits to us.

I know I'd love to have a great Mercedes.
(and lots of people too, sure!)
But I can't buy one.

Except that... remembering when I was an adolescent, I was dreaming on the pages of a car magazine, which presented the S-Klasse as "the best car in the world".
That kind of wonderful dreams made when you're young remain in you for the eternity, somewhere...

So some years ago, I've been led to look for the prices for S-Klasse used cars.
And I knew that, in fact, if I wanted, I could finally have one.

Yes, that remains a lot for me, and I'm not the one who usually makes this kind of things. Or follies.

But... I could have a S-Klasse if I wanted.

Thinking of that...

Can't I really turn a car into a rose ?
Can I think I can have a rose ?
Can I think I can even have more than a rose ?
Can I turn a rose into anything or anybody ?
Anything or anybody that could adapt to me, and please me, at a point that they correspond to what I've always been searching for ?

Is this an optimist post ?
Or a dreamy post ?
Or a desperate post ?

I can't tell.
What I know is that desire is there.
Despair too.

Perhaps, desire and despair aren't suffucient.

Especially if they're one-sided.
That's good news.
And bad news.

I'm going to turn mad.
I should definitely wait peacefully the arrival of death, and enjoy life in its insignificances.
In the way buddhists do.

Roses are too heady.

(photo : Audrey Kletscher Helbling)