Apple Creates Black Hole In Lab
Cupertino California -- Earlier this week Apple released updated versions of its Macbook Air, iPad Pro, and Mac mini. What was not mentioned was that earlier this year Apple's R&D team accidentally created a black hole in their labs while attempting to make their thinnest iPhone ever.
When asked about the black hole Tim Cook responded, "Now is not the time to reveal a lot of details about our new aHole. It was not something we were intending to create, but we can say it is the best ahole ever invented. The space gray aluminum enclosure we built to house the singularity is made from 100% recycled material and is our smallest singularity enclosure yet."
Rumors are everywhere concerning how Apple will use its newest discovery. Everything from an updated Time Machine that actually moves your data back in time, to iPhones that cannot be dropped. An inside source claims that Apple plans to use the black hole to suck the soul from customers that still want to upgrade the storage in their Mac mini even after Apple was gracious enough to provide upgradeable memory in the new version of their desktop computer. Our source said, "We want all of our customers to love our aHole, not just the ones that have never owned a PC."
Trouble is, they used dark matter to create the aHole. Because of this, it doesn't interact with ordinary matter except through gavity. Supposedly, the only “visible” indication of this dark matter aHole is through x-rays from the accretion disk. Apple claims that since most matter in the universe is dark matter, this isn't a big deal.
It's just another example of how Apple tries to keep things simple and only offer features they think the universal user needs. But I mean, come on. How hard would it be to just add a little ordinary matter to the process so that power users can actually be productive??
The power users will complain, but once they really start to use Apple's aHole most of them will be satisfied. It is all conjecture at this point anyway, Apple will keep their aHole in the dark until the time is right.
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Again, same YouTube feed! Good stuff.