Merry Christmas Steemit...

Good Day steemit

Its been a while since my last blog. Trying to find an inspiration what to write and its been tap tap tap and backspace a lot of time...i couldn't find a right word to put in until i attended a masterclass for steemit the other day and @danieldoughty one of the speaker said "You just have to sit down and start typing whatever in your head and don't stop until you finish it and don't bother about the grammar and spelling you will do it later on". Here i am doing it hahhahah...and i think its working.

I just celebrated my birthday last month and i am officially 43 years old this year .How do i feel turning 43 this year? I feel greatful and blessed for what i have now, a home to live in, a car to drive, food to eat and a friends and family to love. I am greatful alahamdulillah.. what l learnt for the past 43 years of my life is to be grateful for what ever you have no matter how small it is and don't take things for granted. Yes don't take things for granted...believe me.

Its actually a very tough year for the whole family for the last 1 year.. we lost our main pillar in the family and i couldn't find a word to describe how the feeling is... i remember that day when the Dr inform us that my brother is having a 4th stage of lung cancer everybody try to be so calm and positive. We were thinking that with the medical technologies nower days surely we can overcome this but i think Allah love him more. He only give us 4 months to fight the battle and on the 7th of October 2017 at 6.49pm he leave us peacefully. Sometimes i just wish it just a bad dream and hopefully when i woke up he will still be with us but its not.. sometimes i ask Allah why must he go first he have so many plans and dreams to fulfill but as a muslim we have to accept qadak and qadar and belive there must be "hikmah" in whatever happen and who are we to question him the creator, Allah know better. My brother always said to me during his last week of his life whatever happen life must go on we have to stick as a family and always be there for each other. Insyallah..

5 months after that we loose another family member my sister in law which i grow up with. We address ourself as macik and anty, she call me anty i call her macik hahahha . I event become her wedding planner when she got married. We always make planned together family trip, outing and family dinner . She will be the proposer and i will be the seconder or either way.. 3 days before she pass away we have our lunch together and planned to go umrah after her daughter finish her SPM exam. On the 27th March 2018 midnight we received a call form Mak Tua ( my SIL eldest sister) informing us that macik is not with us anymore she passed away due to heart attack... inalillahi wainaililahi rajioon( surely we belong to ALLAH and to him we shall return)to tell the truth i was so stunt and i really don't know what to feel actually... it was the longest journey i have from kk to Tuaran on that day. i still cannot believe the news because we were chatting in the family group chat that day making fun among our self. I feel so numbed that day...but i know Allah love her more. Alhamdulilah we manage to do all the necessary thing and she is buried before Asar. She was always concern about her only child Ain.. she always mentioned to me more then 100 times i think to take care of Ain if anything happen to her. On that day when we do the final bathing for her,i make a promise to her insyallah if i am still around i will look after Ain like my own daughter that is my promised to you macik.

My beautiful mom pass away in her sleep just 3 months after macik pass away. She was 81 years old.... the Dr already told us few months back that we should be getting ready to the worst due to her heart and lung is in a very weak condition. When the Dr told us this news i was like ok i am trying to digest the information in my head.My seoul is not yet 100 percent recover from the past losses and now my mom... I make a point that no matter how busy i am i will make sure every two days i go back Keningau to see my mom. Going back to and for keningau during fasting month is very challenging but when i think that i don't have enough time with her all of the challenge doesn't matter anymore.

She has been bedridden for 3 months. She is a fighter i can see that, but only when her lungs weaken and she is having problem to breath it really put a toll on her. It really broke my heart when seeing her gasping for air until we have to increase the oxygen level every now and then. I pray to Allah, if it is time for her to leave please don't make her suffer so much. How much i wanted her to stay with us but i have to accept the fact that she is living us and it is the best for her. she left us peacefully in her sleep at 11.30pm on the 28th of Jun. Dear Allah please take good care of her...

Loosing the people you love and at a very close gap, can make you paralyses physically and spiritually. There is time i question Allah at my praying mate why Allah didn’t take me i am the one who is sick! why my brother and why my sister they still have so many things to do. But then again as i say before we need to trust the almighty. Who are we to question what we have fated for us. No matter how hard you work you will not bring all the wealth to your graveyard but your good name and good deed that people will remember.

Make time with your love one. Last Christmas i didn’t have time to go back visit my mom i call her on the Christmas eve and tell her that i cannot make it and will be back this year ...but sadly she is not here anymore. Don’t take things for granted.

Life is short.
Take the trip.
Buy the shoes.
Eat the cake.
by Lessons Learned in Life Inc.

Merry Christmas everybody and Happy New Year 2019. All I want for Christmas this year is may all my family, relatives and friends be blessed with joy, happiness, peace and good health...

Love ..

Laura