They offered us the crappiest table in the house which we rebuffed rather sharply. The place was 75% empty so why do they do this?
That's a very good question. (Wondering what constitutes "the crappiest table in the house." ) I think that would have put me off them before I even sat down.
The first thing I noticed was the mandatory 10% tip enforced on diners.
I wonder why restaurants don't consider the terrible PR message this sends. It seems unnecessarily graceless -- and as you said, offensive. (Wondering if this just amounts to a surcharge for extra profit for the owners or if the wait-staff ever see a dime from this.)
And a 10% "tip" in the States is considered pretty chintzy. So, AFAIC, they've created this ill will for basically nothing. Pretty arrogant when you think about it.
Nevertheless, the waiter was accommodating and informed us that the small plates are popular for sharing and FIVE would be enough for us both as well as some rice.
Five wouldn't begin to do it. Not even close. The Weasel could go through five of these babies without even pausing for breath.
The food presentation is lovely. Too bad some of it wasn't up to snuff. (The physical condition of those menus, however, is awful. Srsly. I read what you said about them ... but frankly that doesn't cut it. It's like sending a business letter to someone you spilled coffee all over. What kind of impression do you think that would make?)
(Also just wondering ... have you ever had a meal you thought was just to die for? Anywhere? Ever? By that I mean ... a meal you thought was just fabulous / just perfect / just splendid in every way. Not one you thought was liable to kill you. Just in case that idiom doesn't translate properly to you folks on the other side of The Pond.)
It was in the middle of a bunch of other tables, too close to each other for my liking (a pet hate) and nowhere near a window or wall (caveman protection instincts kicking in).
They were surprising filling, although I tend to have an appetite of a sparrow these days. Call it getting old.
It was top notch for presentation, but sometimes looks deceive.
I have, many times. The thing is most @tasteem review's say the same thing, the food was great, this was the best ever... blah, but that's rarely the case. Also, if you smell some ganja while fine dining, it has to be told!
I did some early @tasteem reviews, 'The Fisherman' and 'Yu and Yu' which were both fantastic. I am a fussy bastard when it comes to food though, if your paying it had better be good.