I've been through the same thought process a time or 2. I have clinical depression with a side order of anxiety. Apparently, I've had this condition for almost all of my life, but didn't know it until I started talking to a shrink in 2006, at the age of 50. I thought all those things were just normal. I had no idea that a big chunk of the population never has any suicidal thoughts. That blew my mind. My "happy pill" deals with the anxiety reasonably well, but I still deal with depressive episodes, although they're not as deep as they used to be.