If you do not praise yourself - then no one praises you. Questions of self-motivation.
(reading time 3 minutes)
People often experience melancholy, a state of depression and a decline in strength. Which in general is natural for a creature with a complex psyche, especially in our time.
On the one hand, the information overload, which is now a phenomenon "normal" and even familiar - a person is attacked daily from all sides, negative news interspersed with other people's successes of incredible heights, and advertising banners and training announcements make him feel a lot of lost profits, which leads a person in a state of cognitive dissonance, in which a person loses his bearings and finally loses understanding of "where to go and why?". But, much more sadly, in fact, he did not even know "where to go and why" before, but only experienced the illusion that he knows this and controls the situation of his life.
On the other hand, it is influenced by the inner world, which requires attention, but (most often) does not receive it for many years. Unresolved internal conflicts - "time does not heal," but only exacerbates and nurtures once-small internal demons to the size of monsters that every year and with each new defeat only louder screams from within.
Melancholia (from other Greek, μελαγχολία "melancholy", from μέλας "black, dark" + χολή "bile, anger") - "melancholy, gloomy insanity" - a term that denoted before the beginning of the XX century one of the types of mental disorders leading to unpleasant, painful mental anguish.
People ask themselves "why am I so unlucky?", "How can I arrange everything in my life?", However, such generalized questions are not questions as such, they are just another attempts to demonstrate to oneself, and sometimes to close ones, the illusion activities in the field of personal growth (psychological maturity).
Asking such questions, in fact, a person does not want to receive answers, he only wants to suffer a bit, to search for regret and compassion for himself, but does not want to find answers.
More precisely, it seems to him that he is looking for answers, but he does not realize that instead of searching for answers he simply suffers and is engaged in self-torture, self-immolation, stuck in his past, in his mistakes and defeats, exhausting himself and squandering his psychic energy into regret worth it would spend on building their future.
Psychological maturity is a state of personality that promotes prosperity in life, revealing all the talents of a person, his abilities, constructive communication with other people, adequate perception of reality, satisfaction of important human needs in a socially acceptable way.
The world is not an iridescent meadow, but rather a complex environment, in which we inevitably build incorrect forecasts and make mistakes, as a result of which we experience the decline of psychic energy and physical forces.
How are we, people, to be? What is a miracle remedy that would help us to be in a state of constant growth and simultaneously protect us from the complex psychic states in which we waste our psychic energy in vain and plunge into depression?
Of course, the optimal option will be a favorable environment of people in a mature environment who love and appreciate us, who respect us and accept us as we are, and in case of our failures, we will not be reproached, but on the contrary, will give us all support .
But! Modern society has a dubious system of values, therefore, to have such an environment is a huge rarity and almost a luxury.
However, there is an effective way that will help any person to keep himself in good shape.
But, for starters, something needs to be clarified.
Every person on the planet is a unique person with his own unique experience, with his mistakes and his victories, and people are falling into the pit of despondency not because there were more defeats in their lives, but because they were more judged for these defeats, because they condemned themselves for them - and their victories remained in the shadow of defeats, in the past. And the new victories, because of reproaches, they had no strength.
This is due to the fact that there are 16 centers of fear / pain in the brain and only 1 center of victories / pleasures, so people tend to attach more importance to negativity than positive, to remember all the bad things better than good.
"If you do not praise yourself - then no one praises you"
This proverb is not sarcasm (as many think), but is a recommendation for action, but it requires an explanatory instruction "how to praise yourself" and why it should be done.
Our memory is far from a perfect mechanism, and as we have shown above, it is inherent in it to focus more on the negative than on the positive.
"The most blunt pencil, better than the most acute memory"
The magic way to keep yourself toned is to keep your "Success Diary" - not just a diary into which you record everything, namely the journal of victories, in which you write only your successes, all your victories, both large and small, all that pleased you, everything that made you better, any your point of growth.
The Success Diary is a little helper who will always come to the person to help at a difficult moment. Rereading it in periods of difficult life situations, a person not only sees his real abilities, but he also relives those moments of victories in the past and at the same time remembers what actions he took in order to get a successful result.
Thus, a person automatically tunes his brain to solve current problems and creativity, compiling successful solutions from the past into a new creative solution for the task facing him now.
Proverb "If you do not praise yourself - then no one praises you" says "remember your victories, value yourself, respect yourself, love yourself."
I wish you friends of life's success! Remember your victories!
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