Echoes of The Modern Heart- The Final Chapter
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Zain woke up at 6 every day. His job started at 8:30. He’d get dressed by 7 and immediately left for Medanta. It was a 15 minute-ride, but he’d take about 25, courtesy of a stop on the way to buy flowers for Tannu. He got a medium-sized bouquet every day and rotated the type of flowers each day so as to not make it look monotonous and boring. At 7:30, he’d be in her room, waking up her brother as quietly as possible, handing him a cup of coffee. He’d have his first hour with Tannu, who was generally deep in slumber around that time. Zain would just sit beside her and look at her face. How peaceful and beautiful she looked in her sleep! The little of ounces of lethargies which he would have had vanished once he set his gaze at his Sleeping Beauty. Exactly at 8, his brother and a nurse would enter the room. It was time for her first medication of the day.
Zain would gently stroke her hair and caress her forehead, whispering in her ear to wake up. She always woke up with a certain frown, which always made Zain smile.
“Get up, kid. Time for your sweets” Zain said, almost laughing each time. She would get slightly irritated whenever he said sweets, as the pills were very bitter to taste.
“Eh. I hate these meds!” she’d always say, with a sense of disgust.
She gets up, brushes her teeth and has her medicines. Those colourful pills were to wean off any pain that the treatment can supposedly cause. Her brother and the nurse would leave after handing Zain the pills. He’d give Tannu the medicine, after which they had 10 minutes to themselves.
“So ma’am, would you like to go on a date with me today?” Zain would ask, as chivalrously as possible.
“Umm… I don’t seem to have any other option, right?” she’d grin.
“You can say no, but then I know you won’t”
“I would love to go out with you, Mr Zain. You ask me this every day, even though you know I always want to. Idiot. Anyways, what’s the surprise today?”
“There’s a reason it’s termed ‘surprise’, you moron. If you have any particular demand, then that’s something I would absolutely love to do for you.”
“You already have been amazing me every day. How on earth did you get that knack of surprising?” she asked.
“The things we do for love” he smiled.
10 minutes were up, he had to rush for work. He gave a light kiss on her cheek each day, whispered in her ear “I love you.. and you are a total moron” and rush out. As he walked out, he always heard “Same to you” from her. He knew she was smiling, and he smiled at his successful beginning of the day.
Work wasn’t much of a hassle. Luckily, it wasn’t very far from the hospital and Zain was able to have lunch with Tannu almost every day. The days he didn’t, he send a note to her about why he wasn’t there that day. Work finished at 5, and all the strain of the day in him faded away whenever the clock ticked 5.
He’d get one of the best dresses she had available, courtesy of her mother. He’d get the dress to her and then they’d go out. Doctors always gave around 2 hours for her to roam. He always planned his dates with utmost detail. He had to make the most out of those 2 hours every day. He made this arrangement whilst waiting for Tannu to dress up. She always looked resplendent each day.
“You look horrible, you know” he’d say often, to which she gave a cranky look and a light smack on his back.
Every day, they went to different places. The lake, the hills nearby, the parks, and often just some hotel. They went to the lake mostly, because the adjacent park had a very serene view. They’d sit on the grass and talked. They had to catch up on the decade they had spent away from each other. The occasional laughs and taunts, the involuntary caressing was something Tannu loved. Quite many times, she would lay her head on his shoulder and he would gently stroke her face.
He never made her feel that her time was diminishing with each day passing by. Whenever he was with her, both of them forgot that she was sick. Both of them were happy.
“Why is this happening?” Tannu asked Zain one fine day.
“You aren’t liking this date?” he replied.
“No, you idiot. I love it. I meant, why this? Why, under these circumstances are we together? If it weren’t for this disease, we wouldn’t be here.”
“Don’t think about it, Tannu. Everything that happens, happens for a reason. We do not have any control over it. Let all of that be where it rightly belongs, the past.”
“If it weren’t for this, probably I wouldn’t have contacted you. I’d have endured a life of dissatisfaction. I might have not been happy with my life. I have lesser time now, and I regret that we did not do this when we thought we had all the time in the world.”
“Do not think about it, you moron. This is how life happens. We do not govern it. Since we can’t, we should not worry much about it. What’s meant to happen will happen, no matter what. Best stop worrying about it and enjoy what we have.”
“I love you, Zain” she said. He smiled at her.
“I absolutely do not love you too, moron!” he said in a slight mischievous tone. She laughed with him.
Zain gave her a hug. “I love you too, Miss Tannu. You know it already, but I always want you to remember that.”
It was time for them to go back. After taking her to her ward, he’d go back to his apartment and write a small letter to Tannu. After doing so, he would take a very short nap. He woke up at 10:45, take that letter and a small chocolate and go to the hospital. She hated waking up from her slumber, but she would always light up when she saw Zain. He’d give her the medicine, hand her the letter and slip a chocolate near her pillow, give her a goodnight kiss and leave.
He’d write something different every day, barring the last few lines.
“I know you hate waking up this late. Anyhow, I hope this letter ends your day with a smile on your beautiful face. You’re smiling, right? If you aren’t, then you have to. That, ma’am, is an order. -.-
Love you loads, forever and ever.
Now sleep off. I’ll be back tomorrow morning.”
6 months were almost done. It was her last few days. Zain had taken a leave for this. He fought with himself to put up a courageous smiling face for his Tannu. The pain was killing him on the inside. His eternity was about to find its end. He was with Tannu most of the time. When her family members visited her, he’d leave, giving them their moment with her. Their dates weren’t possible, as Tannu was very weak to go out. He did stuff for her there only. He made sure she left this world with a smile on her face.
Each day, Zain had looked himself in the mirror and cried. What would be life after this?
Would there be any life after this?
He called up Sara. Her phone was switched off. That was strange. She never switched off her phone.
Just one day was left now. He was at the hospital with Tannu. She had grown pale, the cheekbones clearly visible now. He teased her about it a lot, just to make sure she was always cheerful. Even his eyes were sore with the crying.
As they were talking, someone gave him an envelope which had his name on it.
“And I thought only I received letters” she jibed at Zain.
“Must be some office thing” and he kept it in his pocket.
“I have very less time, right?” she said, staring blankly at the wall above.
“I, uh…”
“Don’t say a thing, Zain. This time, only I do the talking. You only keep your mouth shut, okay?”
“Okay..”
“Look, I know you hate this formality and stuff, but I need to say it. Thank you, Mister Zain, for making these last few months of mine the best. You are the best thing in my life, and if there really is an afterlife, I’d like you to be there with me. People generally leave their loved ones in their last few days. I know how torturous this time must be for you. I would have really understood if you wouldn’t have been with me. After all, when I go, you’ll become miserable, which I’ll absolutely hate. I should’ve asked you to leave before, MADE you leave before, but I didn’t, because I know what a stubborn degenerate you are. I knew you wouldn’t leave.
You have my heart, Zain. I love you, and how I wish it weren’t under these circumstances. How I wish our lives would’ve been perfect. How I wish these six months wouldn’t have been just six months, you know. You have made me feel what eternal love feels like.
I have two things to ask of you. First, after tomorrow, you’ll try to get better. I permit you to be sad as hell for, uh, let’s say two days maximum. I’d be stupid to ask you to move on quick. But after this, you have to find someone, Zain. Promise me this, Zain. You will make someone else happy too. That fortunate person should have a happy life. You.. should have a happy life. Take your time, but move on. That’s the best you can do for me, to remember me.”
“And second” was all Zain could muster.
“Second is something really stupid (she laughed). Supposedly, I don’t go away tomorrow. Let’s just assume for a while that we have our eternity. If that’s the case, I am going to do something which you’re one lucky crack-head” she took out a ring from under her pillow.
“Will you marry me, Mister Zain?” she said, tears in her eyes, smiling nonetheless.
Zain’s eyes swelled up. This time, his tears didn’t stop.
“Yes” he said, as she slipped the ring in his finger. He gave her a tight hug and kissed her.
“I love you, Zain. Promise me that you’ll find someone for yourself, after this. Promise me.”
“Promise” was all he said.
“What’s that in your pocket? The same letter? Haven’t opened it, I reckon” she said.
“Oh yeah” he said and took the envelope out.
Snehasis had written to him. The envelope contained two letters.
One was from Sara and the other from Snehasis.
He opened Sara’s letter first.
Hey Zain.
I guess I should’ve called you up. Unfortunately, I cannot. You have a lot to deal with right now. On the off-chance that you are with Tannu, give her my warm regards. She is one lucky girl to have you.
I am writing you this, because I just wanted you to know. You have been an important part of my life. You have been the friend who was there whenever I hit rock bottom, when not everyone supported me, you did. I am so glad you came into my life. Those little laughs, stupid fights, and all the fun we had is worth cherishing. I have few friends, and I respect even fewer of them. You are one of them. The way you made me feel special about myself and have been all along the way is something I can truly never forget.
I do not know Tannu personally, but I envy her. I mean, you guys weren’t in touch for a decade or so, and yet she holds such an important place in your heart. She’s really lucky to have an amazing guy like you in her final days.
Okay, you must be wondering why I am writing this. Right? Well, I guess I just wanted to have a chance of letting you know how special you are to me. Your life is upside down, with so many things happening and I was very certain I’d be telling you this after you would’ve sorted all that out. Unfortunately, time beckons me to tell you this now. I am sorry if this will mess you up further, but better late than never. So, here it is, Zain.
I love you.
Zain went into a frenzy of emotions. He literally understood the true meaning of chaos, because that was how he felt. He was in the place as Sara years ago. He knew exactly how that disappointment felt like. He was just helpless. He was searching for a viable solution to all this, and he couldn’t. He could not think one single thing.
He saw the other letter. It was from Snehasis. He opened it up and started reading it.
Zain,
Brother, I am sorry I haven’t contacted you in a while. This is something I could not handle, and I could not fathom how you would too. Send my best regards to Tannu. This letter from Sara… I was with her when she wrote this. She wanted you to read this. She wished to tell you personally, but she couldn’t. She,uh, she’s been in an accident, and doctors said her condition was critical. She didn’t want to take the risk, so she wrote this down and gave it to me. She fought hard, brother, but her injuries proved to be quite fatal. I am so, so sorry Zain. I just couldn’t call up and tell you, because even I can’t seem to handle this.
Sara is dead.
If the letter had still left some part of Zain sane, the one from Snehasis decimated that. He went into a state of trance, of complete void. He did not know how to react to this news.
He had never felt so helpless.
The last line by Sara. Immediately the last line from Snehasis. Each contained just three words. And as his mind played the words on a loop, tears rolled out of his eyes.
All the time, Zain just thought one thing.
“Why did that happen?”
All this time, Tannu had read Sara’s letter and her eyes had swelled up too.
“Zain..” she said and started weeping.
“Shh, it’s okay, Tannu. It’s okay. I am here with you.”
“She loved you, Zain. I am so sorry.”
“Don’t be stupid. I’ll talk to her. I love you, and that’s all that matters for now.”
“Promise me, Zain. You won’t disappoint her the way I did to you. Promise.”
With the heaviest heart, Zain lied, “I promise.”
He hugged her, tight. He felt a glob in his chest, the pain between his ribs. He did not know why it was happening.
He still had Tannu in his arms when she whispered, “I love you Zain.”
“I love you too” he said when he realised her whole weight was on his chest.
“Tannu? Tannu? Open your eyes Tannu!! TANNU!” he screamed.
All of a sudden, the nurses stormed in. Everything seemed a blur to him.
His world had gone cold, embraced in his arms.
His eternity had met an end.
He felt a rapid pain in his chest. While the staff was busy trying to shock Tannu back into systemic, he fell down.
Everything blacked out for Zain.
“The man is down. Someone check on him” he could hear the faint voice of the nurse.
“I want to be with my eternity” was the last thought of Zain before he went into oblivion.
Epilogue
As I flipped through the pages, I was wonderstruck at this story. He was sitting in front of me, eyeing my response to all this.
“Well, uh, this is a nice work. You’ll publish it?” I said.
“Take this, Abhishek. Do whatever you want with it. Publishing and stuff eludes me. I just wrote for the passion of writing” he said.
“I have a blog. I’ll post each chapter. People should know about your work”
“Whatever you deem plausible. No credits or anything, though.”
“So, how did you come up with this? 10 years beyond, how did you?”
“Well, it just happened. Went with the flow, I guess.”
“I guess the confession has really happened. That’s why you wrote about it.”
“Yeah. That is true. The first chapter is true. I worked out a story after it. Guess I needed to divert my mind and move on.”
“One thing, though. Why kill off Tannu? She means a lot to you. Why this turn in the story?”
“I wrote this because I imagined a future with her. It could not become a reality, though. So, I wrote this just to make it a reality for my heart. At the same time, I realised it could not be a reality because of various issues.
There is no such thing as a happy ending. There’s just an ending. The reality stands firm everywhere. It pained me to think about the cancer and stuff. But it kind of went with the tale, and the only way a person breaks these barriers and norms of this society is for that person to realise how precious this life is to think of such petty things. I hope you get it Abhishek.”
“Yes. So, what is the reality like right now? You are Zain, obviously. Why Zain? Why not your own name? And Tannu is..?”
“Best you don’t know.”
“Fine. Then tell me, what’s the current scenario like? Are you and, uh, ‘Tannu’ together?”
“Obviously not. I hope so, but I don’t think it’ll be possible. All I hope for is one chance to work it out, but as fate has it, I can’t get that. The harsh reality, as I said.”
“Does she know about this story?”
“I don’t know.”
We were silent for a minute. I observed how he felt about that. It pained him to kill Tannu in the story.
“Okay…. Anyways, I’ll make a story out of it. Blog it part-wise. Let people know about this.”
“No original names, though. This is your blog post. Do edit and correct it as you want. Just keep me updated with the reviews you get and the response you garner.”
I never really understood why he was so adamant on the no-credit-no-names thing. Anyways, it was his story. His wish.
“What was real about the story?” I asked him. I already knew the answers, but I wanted to see his reaction.
“Well, the only real thing was the love, which matters the most.”
“Okay. Have you given a thought about the title?”
“No.”
We both sat there thinking about titles. We even Googled for it, but in vain.
“I got to go now. Will think something. You do too” he said.
“Sure.”
As he turned to leave my room, he said, “Abhishek”
“Yeah?”
“How about Echoes of the Heart.”
“Sounds nice. How about…”
“Tell.”
“Let’s make it Echoes of the Modern Heart.”
“Echoes of the Modern Heart it is” he smiled.
“Why the hesitation in telling your name.”
“People won’t know my name. They’ll know my story.”
“Shouldn’t covering Tannu’s side of the story be justice to her?”
“I know her name, not her story. I’ll create a story out of her too, if need be. I’ll have to figure it out first, though” he smiled.
He was leaving the room when I asked him the most important question of it all.
“Aey! Hold on a bit! What happened to Zain?”
He smiled.
“Technically, this never happened to him, because I am him.”
“In the story, what happens to Zain now?”
He just smiled at me as he left.
He had kept the fate of himself to himself.
TOS
