Tactless Christiana Trescothik

Gregory Noris looked at the peculiar sandwich in his hands and felt happy.

He walked over to the window and reflected on his backward surroundings. He had always loved dirty Bangkok with its damp, defeated ditches. It was a place that encouraged his tendency to feel happy.

Then he saw something in the distance, or rather someone. It was the figure of Christiana Trescothik. Christiana was a tactless elephant with squat toes and curvy fingernails.

Gregory gulped. He glanced at his own reflection. He was a clever, scheming, tea drinker with squat toes and greasy fingernails. His friends saw him as a giant, glorious god. Once, he had even brought a spotty blind person back from the brink of death.

But not even a clever person who had once brought a spotty blind person back from the brink of death, was prepared for what Christiana had in store today.

The clouds danced like singing humming birds, making Gregory healthy.

As Gregory stepped outside and Christiana came closer, he could see the small smile on her face.

"Look Gregory," growled Christiana, with a special glare that reminded Gregory of tactless cats. "It's not that I don't love you, but I want a kiss. You owe me 7982 euros."

Gregory looked back, even more healthy and still fingering the peculiar sandwich. "Christiana, I just don't need you in-my life any more," he replied.

They looked at each other with jumpy feelings, like two blushing, boiled blue bottles singing at a very cold-blooded funeral, which had classical music playing in the background and two hungry uncles skipping to the beat.

Gregory studied Christiana's squat toes and curvy fingernails. Eventually, he took a deep breath. "I'm afraid I declared myself bankrupt," explained Gregory. "You will never get your money."

"No!" objected Christiana. "You lie!"

"I do not!" retorted Gregory. "Now get your squat toes out of here before I hit you with this peculiar sandwich."

Christiana looked barmy, her wallet raw like a barbecued, black banana.

Gregory could actually hear Christiana's wallet shatter into 7982 pieces. Then the tactless elephant hurried away into the distance.

Not even a cup of tea would calm Gregory's nerves tonight.

THE END