My Story - How a high speed crash taught me two of the biggest lessons of life

I love riding motorcycles. It has been my mode of travel, enjoyment and many, many good memories. It has been over 8 years, and a 100,000 kilometers so far, the feeling is the same as the first times I discovered the joy of motorcycling. My motorcycle has become more than transportation for me. It has become an essential and integral part of life. A release. A passion. Along the way, all the travel, the riding, and the moments have taught me many lessons. Some of them big, others valuable, some essential. It is only fitting that the motorcycle life in the last few days taught me the two most important lessons I have ever learnt in life when I had a high speed, rather scary crash.

For a second, a shiver ran through me. I felt as scared and as vulnerable as I have ever felt.

At 4 am in the morning, getting thrown off the bike and rolling over a dozen times was not the nicest of experiences. I remember hitting my helmet twice on the tarmac as I rolled on the road. One second, it was blackness, the other I would see the orange lights. My knees were bleeding profusely and my denims were torn. A few faces flashed in front of my eyes. For a second, a shiver ran through me. I felt as scared and as vulnerable as I have ever felt.

Due to the crash, I suffered a torn tendon in my right wrist. It is still healing as I type this. I had a sprained right ankle, badly bruised knees and bruises in my left arm. Walking became a painful activity for the next two days. Doing simple tasks such as typing on the keyboard or moving the mouse about was difficult. Sitting down or standing up was painful due to the bruises in the knee. I was lucky, to say the least that I came away relatively less hurt, as I had crashed at nearly 120kph. My luck was definitely good that day.

While I did not see it back then, this crash was the biggest teacher of two very important lessons in life for me. In hindsight, I am a little thankful too. It has made me wiser, stronger and a more balanced human being.

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It was the most painful week for me, unable to walk, do much with the right hand, and having to alternate between pain killers, heat bags and ice cubes for the swelling in my right wrist. I informed my friends about the crash, sent a long-ish message describing my accident and the effects. I got a range of replies in return. Some were a one liner: Take care. Others, little more than a line or two. Some called back in return.

A whole week passed. Some friends who I considered close had not bothered to ask anymore how I was, or what I was doing. In that entire week, about 3 friends visited, two of whom disappeared after that day for quite a long time. Some other friends never bothered to ask again. Another close friend never even called back, despite us doing many road trips and adventures together. Another friend came for a day, and the next time I heard from her was when she wanted something from me a couple of weeks later.

I am a very social person. I like talking with people, and doing things with them. The friends I consider close are the people I would do anything for. It made me a little sad to come to the realization that when I needed them, there was not many to even ask how I was doing. The one person that was there for the ups and the downs was my buddy @nomadbiker.

Hitting an emotional low is not something that happens easily to me. But for a couple of days, I did reach that low point. I could not go and train at the gym or be able to ride a bike due to the injuries. Without the things I so looked forward to doing on a daily basis and realizing people that I really cared much for were not gonna be around when I needed them, This feeling hurt. It hurt to know that ‘close friends’ would not spare the time to pick up the phone and make a quick phone call, even though they spent a fair amount of time Instagramming or Facebooking.

But I am the kind of person that stares at defeat and difficulties in the eye. It does not scare me easily and I do not back down. It took a little while for me to bounce back, and I found new motivations to keep myself engaged. I am a person that has a lot of self motivation, and I have the ability to harness it. I got back to the gym. I had to drag myself there the first few days, but I kept going at it. I became regular. So what if I could not lift weights? I set a goal to get lean and stronger.

Everyday is a small victory.

Today, I am back to the gym 5 days a week, been able to ride a bike as I could before in spite of the injured wrist. The torn tendon is healing slowly and I have become more and more optimistic about things. I have cut out time that I spend with friends and become selective with the people I spend time with. This has given me time to pursue other things in life, one of them being more active on Steemit. The biggest takeaway is that I have been more at peace with myself and my road to recovery. I have learnt that people will not do for you what you would do for them, and that it is okay to have one great friend, rather than ten good friends.

It is okay to have one great friend rather than having 10 good friends.

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In 2017, I have been able to follow through on another goal in life: motorcycle racing. I prepared for nearly an year from taking lessons and practicing, to getting my racing license. I was excited to stop chasing the dream and start living it instead.

Unfortunately, my crash happened just 3 days before the first race week!

To say I was disappointed and scared of being unable to make the race is an understatement. With hardly 3 days left to heal and recover, I was absolutely sure that I would not be able to race. But I said fuck it, and went to the race track anyway.

On Thursday, I rode with wrist supports and bandaids covering the bruises. I could not do more than 6 laps. The track doctor was astonished to see me come to him asking for help so I could race. His advice was for me to rest and not race that weekend. But track doctors are a special kind as well. They understand the racer's desire. With a support for the torn tendon (that needed to be replaced everyday), thick guaze dressings for the knee (needing a change everyday as well), I went and did my first practice session.

I was a long way off the pace. 15 seconds off! I crashed in qualifying, but put up a time however; 4 seconds faster than practice! But 4 seconds off the guy in ahead of me. I was the last rider on the grid. I had no clue what I was going to do in the race.

Sunday morning was the first race. As I got into my leathers and gear and waited, the pain was extreme. The suit rubbed against the bruises in the knees. Waiting made the pain excruciating. I was under intense pain and the pain killer had no effect on me. I grit my teeth to stop myself from shouting out loud. My friend in the pits later told me that the look in my eyes was that of intense agony, and that made him realize how painful the injuries were.

And that pain made me realize the one lesson that gave me hope and confidence. I realized that this was a pain I was willing to suffer. I was willing to suffer the swollen wrist, the torn tendon, and the bruises in the knees for the racing. I had waited for this dream for too long, and I was not going to give up now.

I learnt that life is not about finding passions or being happy, but rather choosing what we are willing to suffer for. Because happiness requires struggle. The question then became what pain I was willing to sustain. I learnt that life will be defined by what I was willing to struggle and suffer for. These thoughts came to me in the final few minutes before I headed out for the race, and have stayed with me since.

To tell how profound of an impact they have had on me mentally is a difficult task. But this lesson has made it easier for me to choose who I want to be and what I want to do, and the people I want to be with. The question has always come down to: “Am I willing to struggle for this?” If the answer is no, I do not take a second chance at it.

I finished 12th in my first race, after qualifying 20th. In the second race, I crashed out while fighting for 12th position on the 3rd lap. My timing had improved by 12 seconds over the course of 2 races on that Sunday!

I am a much wiser, sorted and happier person now. I have discovered some values and pursuits that I am willing to struggle for. I feel this is the most basic component of life. The struggles determine the successes.

The question has always come down to: “Am I willing to struggle for this?”

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It is important not to lose hope in life, no matter who stands with you or not. It is in moments like these that we discover our inner strength. It can be exhausting to stand on your own, but once you do it, you can do it again. And again. And over again. And it is important to learn not to give into the lows too much that they take over your inner fire.

To finish, I would like to say that these are the two lessons I learnt: Choose your struggles wisely, and your friends ever more wisely.

Because they can make you, or break you.

Thanks to @nomadbiker for seeing me through those difficult times. He is that one great friend I have.

All images sourced from Pinterest.

Thank you for reading. :)

Excelsior!