How I feel - But that is how life is

This is how I feel.

I wake up everyday, I think ''why I am waking up'', is there a bigger purpose for me just going to collage getting a job after I graduate. It just makes me think that everybody is the same. And I am just the same I think about myself how I feel. I feel really confused, because I dont know what the future is going to be. Sometimes I feel like I am thinking way to big, and sometimes I feel I think way to small.

I came to the conclusion that live is really not fair. Hard work does not pay of. You need to work hard but also smart, because you get the same paycheck at the end of the month. School does not tell you how to invest your money and start a business.
I see my mates, and they all dont care about the future. Most of the time they all think going into debt is necessary to go to collage. Some smart people I found on the Web, told me its not.

I always aimed for the highest grades, but now I just feel demotivated to aim for high grades. Nobody cares not even the teachers care, friends dont care. I feel like I am just killing my time. I started a youtube channel and I like it. But its becoming hard to grow, people I meet after a time they leave. Its just like real life friends come and go. Sometimes I wish everything was a bit easier. But that is how life is. It is testing you every day

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