FALLING FOR YOUR FOOL'S GOLD | ROMANCE #ANGST

FALLING FOR YOUR FOOL'S GOLD

BY IBRAHIM MENDOZA

He felt completely empty. It was what he always wanted and what he always told everyone, he just wanted to be alone. He was tired of the drama, the doubts, the misunderstandings. Now that it had come true, it did feel peaceful, but it was hard not thinking how quickly they forgot about him. Each and every one of them. He used to say that he deserved to be like this and that everything would be for the best, but that everything ended up being true frustrated him a lot.

He told himself that he would be strong and that he would learn to go on his own. He ended up being a bad apprentice, because crossing the corridor the steps of another person covered his entire field of vision. It had been only three weeks since the last time he saw him. He had been absent from his life, but it was inevitable for his mouth to form a smile and his heart beat faster. A smile was returned and he approached to hug him.

"How have you been, Nic?" He told him after they separate. He was taller, so he ended up looking down and his glasses moved, which led him to adjust them before they fell. He missed seeing those glasses every morning next to his bed.

"It's - I'm fine, Tom" He looked directly into his dark eyes, but the taller one looked around. He see his well-done hair, remembering how he loved to help him to keep it in order.

"I must go now" He started to walk in front of him and Nic did not make an effort to say goodbye properly, he noticed the other person who waited on the other side. He was as tall as Tom, he had a prettier smile, his voice was more shocking and his laughter was contagious, able to make you forget about any bad vibe and feel at home. He was just more apt than Nic, there was no way to get to that level and get an honest hug from Tom.

That reminded him of the last time they slept holding each other, his chest was cold under Nic's head, soft and clean. His hand was intertwined next to Tom's, his fingers were larger than Nic's and there was no other feeling of being protected than being by his side. They both wanted that, but now it was just a bad dream. One very selfish.

It was time for lunch and he made his way to his bedroom, strangely he had no appetite. Strangely. Tom used that word for everything. Months ago, during his first date he told him that he did not like brown eyes, but strangely Nic's had remained in his thoughts. It is likely that Tom got bored and realized that his eyes were part of the pile. Nothing special.

He remembered the first time Tom had lunch at his parents' house, they had been very excited. His dad had already started calling him son and his mother called him love, he thought he had found the person who would relieve the feelings of their own parents, indeed, maybe it was like that, since Nic's parents got divorced a year after having completed a year of relationship. It was not a recurring thought in his mind, but it was certainly inevitable to think about all the possible theories.

He was lying in bed sleeping, waiting for two o'clock in the afternoon to go to his next class, he was possibly buying a fruit or a juice to compensate him for not having lunch, he did not have to be paying a penance. Although his heart was hurt, there was no reason to be causing him to get sick, he did not have someone to take care of him, isn't it?

He did not understand why everyone told him he had a big heart, because the people he loved the most didn't know how to take care of it, the irony is that they didn't even realize they broke his heart. Wise words from his mother were running in his mind you can not expect others to do what you want. People sometimes take the opposite with what they say, because they make clear that they don't want you to help them, but if you translate it they actually are inviting you to do something, for the love of God!

... But he didn't force anyone, maybe that's why nobody fought for him. Neither his friends, nor his parents when they got divorced, much less Tom. Now he had to force himself to be happy and live for him, embrace the past but know how to let it go when times comes. "

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